3 Things You Can Do To Start Socializing with More Women... Today!
In the world of attraction and romance it is almost always the man's role to initiate first social contact. But what types of behaviors and attitudes should we be expressing around women to make them interested in us?
Take a look at these Three important male signaling behavior upgrades that you can make to yourself — attitudes that can improve the way women start reacting to you, immediately.
1) Improve Something About Yourself and Get Energized About it!
Introverted men tend to become socially invisible and silently fade away into the background because they're just the same old thing over and over in terms of look and behavior, and it signals BOREDOM to women. You need to be visually more experimental to start lighting-up on her radar screen as a man of interest and mystery.
One of the ways you can gain this advantage over other, more clueless guys is to make some change in your look that boosts your esteem a little bit, even if you're the only one who realizes this change at first. It doesn't matter if it's cautious and subtle, don't worry about that. Any small start is good. Just the fact that YOU know there's something different about your appearance will have you seeing it reflected in the eyes of others.
Important: your willingness to change your look displays an edge of boldness that women WILL notice. Seize on their first sniff of interest — this early "go" signal — and use it to start a little flirty conversation with her.
All blue skies and good natured, nothing too sexual at first... just a look of delight to have found someone you like. That's what you want to convey with your initial expressions and behaviors when you first meet a woman. Delight.
Remember, in this fearful, #MeToo world it's all about building trust with women first, then building attraction once you've been deemed relatively safe by her. The green light will be her interest in you in terms of eye contact and smiling.
There's no need to undergo some colossal makeover to make appearance tinkering work for you — improving just ONE small yet significant thing about yourself can be enough to break that tired, worn out self-image that's holding you down. Grow your hair long... or shave it all off. Get a tattoo (or a crazy new tat that's cooler). Try showing up in khaki's instead of the usual dirty jeans — or if you're a button-down suit-and-tie guy, then try loosening up your look a little and slum out.
The key is the effect it has on you psychologically. This sort of experiment / social-response acts as a shock to the system, both to the people around you and to yourself, and it WILL start pulling different reactions. It won't just be your imagination either, this works.
2) Start Making Eye Contact
And I mean the GOOD kind of socially-friendly eye contact, where you peek away about 20% of the time so as not to slip into a crazy-guy, bug-eyed leer of some sort. And smile! No, not a dopey smile — a cool, flirty one with friendly eye contact. I discuss this all-important issue extensively throughout my books so I won't get into the whole thing here. Suffice to say that a shifty-eyed presentation of yourself is always a bad deal. People are made uncomfortable in the presence of someone who won't look them in the eye, OR, who stares at them too much. The balance must be struck somewhere in the middle.
Poor eye contact creates a negative, attraction-killing vibe that's just the opposite of being charismatic — which is the ability to make people feel GOOD about themselves after having encountered you. Shifty eye contact, on the other hand, is anti-charismatic because it forces people to identify with your discomfort... and they don't like that! People don't want to hang around with someone who gives them 'bad vibes'. They would just as soon avoid you altogether.
As a mechanical quick-fix for shy eyes, you can try using the old "salesman's trick". Just focus on the bridge of someone's nose if you can't stand to meet their eyes. Most people cannot tell the difference with a focus point aimed so close to their pupils.
Now it's okay to use cheap tricks to kick-start your social ascent, but you should always be working towards the day when you will no longer have to rely on any nonsense to get you through a conversation. You should always be seeking to raise your natural confidence around people. Then your eye contact will then become genuine and natural, and you will be on your way to greater sociability with everyone, not just women. This is how opportunities appear in your life... from people who like you! (And if you're bitter because you feel like you're not getting a lot of opportunities from anyone in any phase of your life, what do you think that means?)
3) Stop Pre-editing Every Possible Opening Phrase and Speak UP!
This one used to be a real social iron curtain for me. In normal everyday conversation with people I knew I was fine and friendly and even funny — but get me near some hot chick and it was clam-up time. I remember standing around helplessly in a club right next to some great looking girl wondering what I should "open" a conversation with... and drawing a complete blank. I was essentially putting enormous pressure on myself to have some sort of well thought-out conversational script all memorized to a tee, but in fact I had nuthin'.
That's right, I never actually sat down and tried to write out such a script for myself, so in addition to not having the perfect opening thing to say, I was also requiring myself to create this fantastically glib script, whatever it was, ON THE FLY!
Gentlemen, I present to you Self Hatred: Exhibit A.
So I would stand there like a statue locked in mental concrete... my mind racing through various different opening sentences thinking: "No, no!... that's sucks... what, are you kidding me?... I can't say THAT... I'll sound like a complete loser!..." And then of course there was my personal favorite excuse not to do anything: "...and so then what will you say to her after that?!..."
See what's happening here? I had handcuffed myself with impossible standards that would insure my saying nothing — which is exactly what my (subconscious) ego wanted: protection from any embarrassment!
That's how these deadly self-defeating cycles can come to control you.
Here's the thing, confident men feel free to talk to anyone whenever they want to. Opening a conversation with a woman gives you this same power (you STEAL it actually because you have aggressively chosen to start talking to a stranger first.) The important thing to remember is that the actual content of what you're saying is far less critical than the silent signal being delivered by your willingness to face down whatever fear you may be experiencing and start talking. In other words...
Fear be damned around any girl this attractive!
So you've got to put an end to this self-hating error-loop that's grinding along in your mind, and loosen up a little... reduce the life-or-death stakes for failure. Remember it's not what you say, it's your sudden and overwhelming enthusiasm to make contact with her that sends a stunning romantic signal. For a man to be self-conscious about speaking is a bad low status male signal that women will detect right away and reject. The High Status Male is King, Boss and Conqueror... he NEVER believes that his words are unimportant or boring — and you, sweet darling, will be fascinated to listen to them! That's the attitude you must adopt...
* * *
Alright then, those are 3 important concepts to get you started down the path towards some exciting personal change. Your first step will be to experiment with some of the behaviors I just outlined, and use the improved reactions from women to build up your confidence. Then, continue moving forward from there.
Keep in mind that your ultimate goal is to pry loose that single, incredible, momentary flash of interest from some beautiful girl — a potentially magical moment that could turn into the most profound action you have ever taken in your entire life.
And now I would bid you, 'good luck'...
...but trust me, you won't need it.
Looking for a sample of Mike's unique social guidance? Read his complete, classic High Status Male primer: "The Three Keys To Seducing Any Woman" Only .99 cents! (for the kindle)
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