Shyness is a silent killer. It prevents us from showing the people around us who we really are and hinders our social and love life. There are so many people around the world suffering from it every day, and yet we rarely talk about it at all. Probably because we are shy to talk about it.
There is only one way to escape this vicious circle and it is to stop being shy. Yes, it is an idea which should probably be listed in a dictionary of idioms as an example of the entry “easier said than done”, but on the other hand most, if not every single thing in the world is easier said than done, so why would this be any different?
Stating such an obvious fact as the one in the previous paragraph is hardly a reason enough to publish an article. Getting out of your comfort zone is, after all, something you know you should do. But how about this proposition: you do not need to be shy because you have no reason to.
“No reason?”, you ask in disbelief. Yes. No reason. Shyness is one of the most irrational human feelings ever to reach this stage of our evolution as a species. And here is why:
Shyness does not make you any better in the eyes of the people around you.
You think you sound stupid when you talk? Apart from the fact that this is most probably untrue, do you think that being silent in public will help your image? No it will not, of course, it will only make things worse. Your “funny” voice will not matter if you have something to add to the conversation. Your silence will most certainly be an overweight elephant in the room.
Shyness does not help you find a girlfriend.
So you are shy because you think you are not good enough to meet girls? How exactly do you think that staying away from girls will help you with that? Everybody, and by everybody I mean every-body, has something which will attract someone else. The only way to make sure no one ever discovers this special thing you have is buy being shy and never letting it out. Take a risk, show people who you are. Yes, there will be those who will not like you. But there will also be some who will find you interesting. Guaranteed.
Girls are rarely attracted to the exterior only. They need a story to hang on to, they need a person – not a body. Girls like to be listened to, but also to listen. And they will often give you a second chance to leave the first impression, if only they recognize your wish. This is why it is crucial that you stop being passive and start working on your own shameless self promotion.
The fact is – you cannot be unattractive and boring enough to justify being shy. You do not need another reason to stop.
Mark Osbourne, the writer of this piece, went to hell and back trying to reinvent himself as a man. He tried everything from hiring private escorts to online dating, but ended up with a girl he met on the train. And he never regretted it.