You’re hanging out with your friends at the club, chatting around, laughing, not really caring about anything in particular. Then you slide over to the dance floor and start scanning the room a bit, and then there she is… dancing enticingly with her girlfriends. You make eye contact for an instant and think (hope!) for a moment that there could be a connection. She seem’s really amazing, and you suddenly want to know who she is…
Then the song ends and she turns to walk straight back in your direction. In a moment the crowd will have you both nearly pressed together. You try to open your mouth and say something cool, but a gripping fear keeps your voice choked off. You can’t think of anything “amazingly clever” to say that you think would rock her world (mistakenly believing that nothing less will do, thus placing way too much unnecessary pressure on yourself…), and so she just keeps on sliding by… and in moments she’s spun away and gone. Gone like a sexy phantom that never was. You had your chance and you blew it.
How many times has this happened to you? How many times have you relied excuses such as, “next time I’ll do it…” or “she wasn’t my type anyway…” to soothe your shrunken ego? It happened to me more times than I can remember.
If you can’t engage a woman even in a casual sense while she’s still a perfect stranger to you, you’re pretty much guaranteed to never meet anyone, right? Saying to yourself in your head: “I’m not good enough for beautiful women” or “I’m going to get rejected if I dare to step up to this girl…” are examples of the kind of deadly negative self-talk that produces sudden, paralyzing approach anxiety. This is actually pretty common, everyone feels this anxiety because we are all afraid to be judged, but in some of us this fear is too strong for our own good. It robs us of our ability to function as we’d like.
The problem is that these poor self-image ideas are sunk down deep and rooted like trees in our unconscious mind, and until we get in there with some kind of powerful tool and dig them out where they are sourced, no amount of internal yelling and screaming at yourself will change anything. It’s impossible to overcome your deepest insecurities and frustrations by lying to yourself with your conscious mind. You need to destroy all these “dug in” unconscious beliefs that are giving your anxiety, fear, frustration, and all these other negative emotions the power to rule your life.
Attracting women is all about managing this so-called ‘inner game’, those persistent thoughts and emotional states that dominate your behavior. For instance, here are two quick insights that can help to control your inner-game:
1. Work to understand what your personal mental triggers are. In order to begin the process of scaling back fear, it’s important to get clear on what actually sets off your most negative thoughts and emotions – the ones that lead you down the path to paralysis and doubt. Controlling this tyrannical inner voice can make or break your self-esteem and confidence real fast, so you need to step outside of yourself now and then in order to gain enough self-awareness to observe your thoughts and behaviors dispassionately, almost like a third party observer. This can be a clarifying exercise that leads to massive personal change.
2. Learn to celebrate even the smallest victories against any level of fear. Acknowledging each and every time that you succeeded at some action that took even an ounce of courage can positively impact your neurology in ways that you can hardly imagine until you witness it happening in your own life. It’s essential to create a psychologic counterweight against all the self-dismissive chatter and other self-hating mental garbage that holds you down, and this is how that process begins.
Believe it or not, the best way that I’ve ever found to do all this quickly (and secretly) is by using self-hypnosis. Hypnosis is not some silly hocus-pocus or a stage trick any more but a highly sophisticated therapeutic tool used by doctors and clinicians all over the world. It works amazingly well for stimulating weight loss, for combating alcoholism, drug addiction, for quitting smoking and a whole wide range of other issues that can all be traced back to persistent negative thoughts going on in the unconscious mind. Tremendous strides have also been made in the suppression of fear and anxiety caused by post-traumatic stress disorders (PTSD’s) suffered by combat veterans struggling to return to civilian life. Hypnosis has grown up and become a very serious business.
Perhaps far less serious than treating PTSD yet still very important to us, hypnosis can be a gateway to overcoming whatever sorts of nagging fears continue to hold us back from fully expressing our potential as men. This one particular hypnosis program I found called Radical Inner Game is perfect for our needs in this sense. It delivers exactly the sort of process that I’m talking about, which can get many of your worst thinking errors straightened out without a lot of conscious pain and agony. I give it my highest recommendation and hope that you’ll take a moment to look it over.
As a man, the most important character asset we possess is our self-confidence. Nurturing this personal quality can produce a powerful sense of drive and focus, and will ultimately lead you towards whatever sort of life goals that you desire to achieve for yourself.
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