The High Status Male

When it comes to making love, women are generally more into the fantasy aspect of the erotic build-up than they are the simple thrill of getting undressed with someone they know and love (or maybe DON’T know and/or love) like most of us guys..  So how to make a girl erotic in a way that we really want her to be?  Well, enticing a woman to yield to your deepest and most secret desires requires that you gradually draw her into your worldview by making yourself into a unique High Value Lover, and then doing so again and again on a consistent basis until you secure her complete and total enchantment.  At that point, like it or not, she’s yours.

You weave this seductive magic by CUSTOMIZING each and every experience in bed for her based on some careful investigation on your part.  Great sex for most women can be defined as erotic in a way that she doesn’t consider inappropriately perverted with a man who has learned to deliver the goods in a way that she enjoys, time after time.  Imposing task?  Not necessarily.  Here’s a three step plan to help you navigate this special road into the erotic heart of any woman…

1) Search For Her Erotic Weaknesses

The first step is to figure out what sort of cheap sex tricks will send any particular girl into orbit.  How?…  Experiment!  Maybe she likes to be dirty-talked or verbally coaxed?  Perhaps she wants you to control her in some way?  Or maybe she wants to control YOU?  Try all sorts of things with her… spanking, tickling, toys, take some nasty pictures, do it out in the bushes, try some stuff in the shower, swap positions, etc.  Use your porno powers here that you’ve spent years (likely all by yourself) “cultivating”.  Some of this mayhem may turn her off, but there’s usually SOMETHING that will get a woman red-lining off the meter — and it’s your job to discover what that is and then learn how to play it like a fiddle!

If she refuses to go very much beyond plain vanilla missionary-style, then you may have run across a chick with low sex drive or other pressing issues on her mind that she feels must be more important.  Rather than be angry about it, count your blessings.  It’s fortunate to uncover such crucial knowledge of incompatibility about a partner as soon as possible because it will head off a ton of future misery.  Turning someone this sexually uninterested towards your more open-minded, erotically-experimental direction can be an impossible task.  I’ve always felt that the best sex occurs between two child-like adults, and by that I mean people who don’t take themselves too seriously.  At least not to the point where they feel sex has become “kid stuff” and somehow beneath their dignity.  People who’ve taken on too much responsibility in life are likely to end up this way by middle-age.  Just a warning.

Anyway, regular work between the sheets will eventually uncover where all her high water marks are located, and her limits as well.  Keep notes on what you’re doing to make a girl erotic and of her reactions to your experimental prodding — silly as this may sound.  After you fill a few pages of such notes, go back and search for clues.  Look for those things that she seems to enjoy the most and figure out a few clever ways to focus in on them.

Now you’re ready to lock her Heart up tight, and lock Yourself into the drivers’ seat!

2) Become Her “Drug” Based on that Weakness

Once you think you have some idea of what a woman’s erotic weaknesses could be (in the sense that she has an intense desire or  a “weakness” for certain sorts of positions, fetishes, fantasies, etc.) then you’re ready to zoom in on them, expand upon whatever they may be and make them more elaborate.  The idea is to become really good at delivering the best CUSTOM sexual experience that she’s ever had… and do so time after time.

If she wonders what the deal is with your sudden enthusiasm, just tell her that she makes you feel uninhibited like no woman ever has before.  This freaks many girls out because most women think that all guys are natural sex-fiends to some degree and don’t realize that it often takes someone SPECIAL to actually bring this quality out in them…

And for you, that person is HER!

Such an attempt to reach out and connect your soul with hers through raw physical pleasure makes a powerful impact that cannot be easily dismissed.  The rush of adrenaline that accompanies such feelings will serve to weld these unique moments deep into her unconscious mind.  And they will all be connected to YOU… you will always be “that guy” who did “that thing” the night you were both together at “that place”.  Now you’re beginning to see Romantic Enchantment in action!

3) Get Her Addicted to You

Look, most people pretty much wing it when it comes to sex – they know a few basic moves and make the rest up as they go along.  The fact that you have 1) studied your “prey” and determined what really turns her on, and 2) are making an effort to satisfy her in specific ways that tie into these revelations, will surely paint you as a totally different breed of cat.

And that’s good!

Before long you’ll be seen as a champion among all the men she’s known — and really, you’ll hardly have done anything all that amazing.  You’ll just be doing things with a little more purpose, direction and creativity than the average Joe.  That’s male seductive power in action.

While the task of enchanting a woman is mainly one of carefully feeding her thrills and absorbing her fears based on what you’ve learned from your study of her sexual proclivities, one warning however… never bust this illusion by announcing what you’re up to.  Don’t say, “I’m going to make you addicted to me!…”  For that matter, NEVER reveal that you’re actually seducing a woman either.  Once people begin to think they’re being manipulated they will throw up massive resistance.

Like a stage magician, a trick is only cool as long as you never reveal how it works.  If you show the audience how the string runs up your sleeve they’ll think ‘oh, that trick was easy’, and then suddenly the whole thing sucks.

As for technique, that’s simple… women just love for men to TALK IT UP in bed!

What exactly to say, what’s your angle?  Work up the not-so-obvious: tell her all the enticing stuff she longs to hear, but never ever expects to.  Tell an older woman that she’s TIGHT like a young chick.  Rave about a thick girl’s voluptuous body.  Tell a 25 year old she has a sultriness that belies her real age — one that makes her seem more like an experienced middle-aged seductress.  Mention to a skinny girl that her long arms make her look like a statue in an art museum, or that you absolutely LOVE the way that her shoulder blades form little angel wings.  Skinny girls often think they’re not all that sexy because they don’t have enough curves.  Not as far as YOU’RE concerned, though… you love it!

Notice the pattern here?…

No one wants to be themselves! Especially women: they all want to be younger or older or shaped differently or whatever… anything but plain old them!  This is why you need to think up a new TWIST every time that you make love to a girl — so it appears as if you are unraveling her bit-by-bit like a delicate flower, each layer more wonderful than the last!  And you are the very FIRST guy to ever see her in this way… as this fantasy creature that she never dared dream of being.  Only YOU can see through the ordinary and view the extraordinary in her!

Few women can resist this sort of lavish attention spilling forth from their lover… it’s intoxicating! This is how you make your girl more erotic and more fun in bed: by deliberate action rather than relying on dumb luck to steer you into the theoretical “right person” who just happens to have a sexual compatibility that matches your own.

You need to mold and shape the person that you’re already with into that right person through your deliberate actions.

This is also the way to establish a position of POWER for yourself in all your relationships — a way to have women “eating out of your hand” before very long.  This is not achieved with the vinegar of nagging and begging, but with the Honey of your presenting to her a rare and unique sensuality that she’s unlikely to ever find in the arms of any other man…

It’s all done by becoming her sweetest addiction!

Guest Article by Gabrielle Moore
Author of “The Female Orgasm Revealed“

As a man of romantic value, there are dozens of magnificent and thrilling things that you can do to your lover which can make her blood absolutely BOIL with horniness.  Want to learn a few right now?

You might imagine that such an incredible secret of the feminine mystique must involve some sort of difficult new twisty-disty sexual position or kink, but really, it’s only about knowing where a woman’s hidden pleasure buttons can be found — and then knowing what sorts of physical and mental provocations can make them come alive with erotic fire!

Become expert at “playing” these magic pleasure spots like a musical instrument and you can consistently make a woman’s orgasm ring like a bell every time:

General Rules For Kissing and Forplay

1.  While making out with your girl, take a break now and then and mix it up a little so you don’t trance out in one posture.  Rule #1: Don’t forget to apply a lovely, lingering attention to your lover’s neck! Focus especially on that tender patch of skin just in front of her ears. While kissing and licking this electric area, whisper something deliciously sweet to her… or else really nasty! You can make the fantasy soft and sensual, or as dirty as you’d like.  You’re call.  Just have a plan!

2.  LICK her lips instead of just kissing them. While doing this, gently whisper that you are just dying to lick her “nether” lips as well…  Dying.  That’s the word we want to hear.

3.  Now that she’s all sweaty, glide your hand down between her legs and caress her mound right through her panties (or maybe they’re gone by now!…).  I would try to use the word ‘soaking’ somewhere in your whispering caress, keeping your voice always low and sexy, of course.

4.   It’s very sexy for a man to undress himself in front of me, and even to make a bit of a show of it.  Make sure that she sees EXACTLY how turned on you are for her!  Full blown self-play isn’t necessary if you’re not comfortable with it, but touching yourself a couple times to show her how anxious you are is what you’re looking to demonstrate!  BTW: She doesn’t get any yet.  You insist that the massage continue, ma’am.  (I love when they say that! 

5.  Once she’s stretched out naked, run a silk tie or silk scarf across her body.  Have her turn over and this time, as the silk tie or scarf runs the length of her spine, follow closely behind with your hot tongue!

6.  Instead of a lap dance, why not ask your lover for a ‘bed dance’ instead? This is where she dances completely naked all over you as you lie on your back and enjoy the show.  Have her sashay all over your face, chest, and groin until the two of you can’t stand it.  Get some music going for this one.

7.  While giving a woman oral, place a pillow under her ass to elevate her mound. This will give you more access without suffering a stiff neck the next day, and for her it will intensify the pleasure.

Super-Erotic Massage Techniques

A sexual massage is something that  I personally LOVE to receive from my partner. It never fails to completely relax my entire body.  Done properly, it acts to provoke my sexual tension until I’m fixed to either have sex right now or f****in’ explode!  Trust me guys, this stuff works wonders.

In addition to ensuring that you have the right environment (i.e., a quiet room, a well-laid out bed or a comfy spot on the floor, etc.) and the necessary equipment (e.g. scented candles, massage oils, etc.), consider also making use of a few fabrics made of silk, satin and velvet as well.  All these different textures can help bring about different responses from her nervous system.  If you don’t have these things immediately on hand, don’t let it stop you from giving your women this ultimate gift anyway.  After all, the most important element — YOU — is always available! 

Begin by undressing her in the role of her servant or slave boy.  Have fun with the fantasy, hey we don’t do this stuff everyday so make it special.  This is how you win her heart forever.  Once she’s nude, have her lie face down on the area you’ve prepared for the massage.  And, while she has her back turned to you, get naked as well (unless, as the slave boy masseuse you were already required to be nude.  Adjust your play accordingly…)

The idea is to use your full body mass as a massaging tool.  Lie on top of her facing the back of her head, supporting your weight on your arms so as not to crush her.  Launch the sexual massage by applying pressure across her whole body by just lying still for a few moments.  She can feel your penis pressing between her thighs.

I once had a guy slip on a cock-ring (when I wasn’t looking which gave him an absolutely rock solid hard-on for the entire time that he served me.  He kept poking me with the tip and surfing it down my spine and ass cheeks  I could feel stringers of his gooey precome running all across my back, crisscrossing like webs after a while.  I cannot describe the head trip of having a man literally drooling all over you with desire as he serves as your (skilled or otherwise, at this point who even cares!) “master masseuse”.  Remember to breathe hot air sensually across her neck and down her back — this will thrill her skin in a most incredible way.

Try your hardest ( ! ) not to get carried away and go straight for the sex for at least 30-60 minutes. Make her endure this sweet torment and soon enough you will BOTH be rewarded with electrical-sexual sensitivity that has to be experienced to be believed!

Use your fingertips expertly. Pull yourself up and straddle her (your cock resting in the valley formed by the back of her thighs), put some warm oil on your hands and start to massage along her spine using just your fingertips. Alternate hard strokes with lighter touches to mix it up and keep her guessing as to what’s coming next.

Try some Palm Circling. Progress from using your fingers to ‘palm circling’ — which is basically a massage using the entire width of your hand. This is a firmer technique that helps the body to really relax. As a general rule, never massage directly on the bones. Place the palms of both your hands on her back and move them in circles, firmly outward and away from her spine.

Gliding into Ecstasy. Slide yourself all the way down her body until your buttocks end up down near her feet. Now slide back up to the top of her shoulders and begin doing the palm circling massage again… but this time, glide down to her ass and continue massaging there too. After a few of these body-long strokes, reach for the top of her shoulders again but this time, keep your head low so that your face is right in front of her ass (like kneeling and bowing to someone.) You can do the palm circling again while breathing hot and heavy against her ass.  A variation would be to LICK her ass instead of breathing your hot breath on it, while simultaneously palm-circling her back.  By now she should be pleasure tripping and putty in your expert hands!

A Powerful Thumb Job. Use your thumbs to massage her lower back. Make short, rapid, alternate strokes with each thumb — moving up and across her ass toward her waist. Continue working along the right-hand side of her body all the way up to the shoulders. Repeat this on the left side of her body, and finish off by going back and concentrating again on her lower back and all across her ass.  You may want to dip a finger or two into her now as she’s certainly ready for it.

The Final Frontier. Continue to thumb massage her while your hands move slowly down to her butt. Part her crack and thumb massage her anus. She may try to squirm away or gasp, but stay with it.  Alternate between your handwork massage and breathing your hot breathe directly onto her anus.  Man that’s a crazy wicked sensation! Repeat all these various massage patterns again and again for as long as you can both stand it.  Just remember to really oil yourself up good, as the gliding effect of massive skin contact will have her insane with lust for her “slave boy / masseuse” soon enough!

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Whew, there you have it.  Trust me, this is exactly the sort of experience that most women dream about having with their men, and sadly, so few of us actually have.  This is where you can separate yourself from the pack of ordinary selfish men out there and really make a reputation for yourself as a rockin’ sexy lover.  Just let your imagination run wild… and draw her into your fantasy world with power and authority.

When it comes to pleasuring women, I have lots more tricks than these up my sleeve guys.  Discover my universe of “extra- sensual” manipulation techniques that are designed to give your woman the most chillin’ & thrillin’ orgasms she can possibly stand.  You can download my FREE report: “The 5 Myths About The Female Orgasm” on my website right now.

Thank you baby!

Loving Licks,
Gabrielle

Lately I’ve been peeking at some of the search terms that guys have been using to find this blog, and I’ve noticed the term “male virgin” comes up somewhat frequently in various different forms.  I don’t really have anything amazing to say about this topic at the moment, but I researched around a bit and found some posts on other blogs that I thought you might like to have a look at:

The Modern Savage — The Dilemmas of Male Virgins

This is actually a very interesting blog in general, not just this particular post about male virgins.  The writer gets into statistics and charts quite a bit but keeps everything very intriguing and avoids getting dry and technical.  There’s also a ton of good links on this blog, enough to keep you busy poking around for a while.

Tre’s Sugar — Dating a Male Virgin

The key question posed by the male virgin himself is short and straight to the point, but you should really find the thread of follow-up comments by women to be very interesting indeed. Take a look.

Health Central — Male Virgin at 29 and never dated

This one is a bit more clinical and has to do with coping with the anxiety that’s created by being a male virgin. Some good links showing you where to get help if you feel that you need it.

Again, not all of you will be interested in this particular topic, but I know this hits a note with some of you and so there it is.  My own rule on this issue is that you should NEVER reveal your virgin status to any woman that you are interested in dating, and you should try not to let it affect you at all — although I know this becomes a heavier lift as you get older.  The problem isn’t so much the status itself as the obsessive focus on it, which tends to corrode away at your confidence.

Two things you need to pound into your head about this subject as it affects you personally: NO mentioning it to the girl EVER, and NO fear!

Keep you focus on charming her and off yourself as much as possible… just assume that your animal instincts will get you through the cherry-popping okay.  If it really freaks you out then use a hooker if you have to (a time-honored de-flowering method for men throughout the ages…).  Just do whatever it takes to put your virginity behind you and move on.  Don’t make it into anything more than the non-issue it really is.  You will always be miserable to the degree that you allow your negative thoughts and emotions to guide your behaviors and actions.

I’m interested in your comments and thoughts.  Let’s kick this around some more.

More Topic-Relevant Information:

Hi Mike,

What you are doing here is amazing, you’re giving us an opportunity to grow as men!

Let me introduce myself, I’m a tall man in my early 20’s and I weigh about 225.  My problem is that I’ve never had a girlfriend and I’m still a virgin.  I’m very shy — for some reason I can’t stand the idea of being alone with a woman.  I think I have rejection phobia.  A few years ago I was in line to lose my virginity I thought, but I couldn’t get it up! I think this experience made me even more afraid of women.  I’d appreciate your help and advice.

Robert

Bob, the thing about sexual issues caused by excessive virginity is simply this: at some point it comes down to just getting the stink on you, no matter how you have to do it!

I recommend that guys like yourself who are so incredibly shy — and especially if their shyness is tied to sexual insecurity — should just go ahead and get an escort and do the deed already! Get all that nagging doubt about your sexual prowess out of your head so that you can understand “deep down” (unconscious mind) that you can perform with a woman.

Once you’ve been popped your male “vibe” will adjust itself to confirm this by making you more at ease around women, which improves your reactions FROM them and opens up opportunities to make a connection. A male virgin carries an invisible tag on him that women can pick up on it somehow. It usually provokes disinterest and makes them regard you as some kind of asexual creature — which makes the task of hooking up doubly difficult.

You are always being faced with having to take an enormous, paralyzing risk to meet anyone — and this is a really stressful way to live.

So get busy getting this issue cleared up for yourself and then take the steps necessary to get out there on the social field of play.  Go take a look at my PUA Product Review pages.  The top listing on each one are books that sit on my own personal bookshelf here at home, books that helped me overcome huge negative issues in my personality that were keeping me shy and unable to connect with women.

Hi Mike,

I just downloaded your free report “The Three Keys to Seducing Any Woman”.  Overall the Course was excellent, EXCEPT for the very last section entitled “Manage Your Horniness Instead of Letting It Manage You“. I think you made a huge error in this section!!!! I hope you rewrite the section, because it is very bad advice that flies in the face of the advice given by every book/source on seduction that I have ever studied (i.e. Ross Jeffries “Equalizer”, to state just one example, where he recommends adjusting your horniness to a minimum level when you first meet a woman).

In my opinion, the alpha male is always getting laid.  Thus, when he is out with a group of guys he will typically be the least horniest of the group (i.e.. because he is getting laid and knows he can get laid any time he wants).  Hot women pick up on this because hot women don’t want guys who are too needy.  They want a guy who is “validated” (i.e.. already getting laid by a woman).  Do you see what I’m saying?  A guy who gets laid a lot won’t be as horny as a guy who never gets laid…

A horny guy is needy.  That is a MAJOR turn off to a beautiful woman.  I chat with a beautiful woman online and I’m good friends with her (she lives too far away to pursue, so I just practice my material on her).  One of her quotes is that “it is easy to catch the eye of a horny guy”.  I memorized this quote because it spoke volumes of the mind set of a beautiful woman.  She thinks very little of the typical horny guys that she meets every day.

Watch a James Bond movie.  James Bond is NEVER horny or lusts over a woman.   He is cool.  Being horny is un-cool.

Lastly, most of my “single and looking” buddies never get laid by HOT women.  That is because they are horny and thus willing to settle for unattractive/fat women just to get their rocks off.  I WOULD never go for a unattractive/fat woman! In my opinion, taking care of the situation manually is preferable to sleeping with a woman that is not my type.

George

Hi George,

Perhaps I didn’t make it clear enough that there’s a “good” horny and a “bad” horny in the 3 Keys Mini-Course.  You do have a good point about some horny guys being too desperate to get laid.  But it’s not really their horniness that’s turning women off, it’s their emotional neediness (a major LSM red-flag).

There are actually 2 types of “sexually laid back” guys that you need to distinguish between.  The first guy is getting lots of trim.  His success makes him mellow around women because, in addition to being sexually fulfilled, he’s emotionally satisfied by his relationships with them.  This is a very attractive quality to project around other women.  However, he possesses a high motivation to chase after those women (and this is important) because he still needs their real, live, hot little bodies for his sexual fulfillment. You see, his primary motivator is SEX DRIVE, not fear… so his success with women, while making him mellow, still leaves him driven to continue meeting and mating.  He’s actually quite horny most of the time — but his horniness is based on real world interactions with women (rather than deprivation of them) and therefore it is perceived as being cool.

The 2nd guy is also mellow, but that’s because his “mega-wackin’ lifestyle” has pretty much drained away most of his sex drive, plain and simple.  He seems horny — although truthfully he’s not craving sex with real women at all (he’s too scared).  Instead, what he’s really after is emotional satisfaction, because no amount of wackin’ can provide what a real woman does for a man in this regard.  Because his sex drive is always so low, however, his primary core motivator is FEAR — and that acts to block his ability to move on real women.  This doesn’t actually matter to him though — because he only requires some really good fantasy material to fulfill his primary sexual-masturbation needs anyway, not actual flesh and blood women (although he doesn’t always realize this).  He can get this just by staying “close enough” to hot women (at school or at work, hanging out platonically with his buddy’s girlfriends, at strip clubs, etc.) to keep his porno fantasies fueled.

Low sex drive, high fear, and no need for a real woman in his life (at least not to achieve sexual fulfillment, anyway).  Hey, it’s a wonderful nerd’s life! The only thing really missing from the LSM’s universe is the emotional satisfaction provided by a real woman.  And yet this is what he soon finds himself most desperate for… but this missing element becomes a huge turnoff because the typical socially-inept behaviors that usually accompany this kind of lifestyle scream out that women are a scarcity in his life.

If he could only get rid of that damn need… why, the LSM would be in hog heaven.  But he can’t.  And the fact that he can’t is why he’s seen as being needy, and thus unattractive to women — not merely because he’s “horny”.

You don’t have to go completely celibate or anything to make this kind of fundamental change in your success with women, that would be counter-productive in the other direction.  Just trim back your “wackin’ workload” a little and begin to experience a greater surge of your positive male lifeforce.

Hello Mike,

In your first book you wrote about how important it is to listen to what a woman has to say, to pay attention, etc… things that I understand to be polite and even sort of “nice guy”-like.   But in your second book you wrote that to avoid the friendship zone we have to be more of a creator of problems for her rather than a problem solver.  Aren’t these ideas in conflict?

Also, when I meet a girl I sometimes like to talk about Africa ( I love to travel…), and I often describe how exotic and wild it is…( trying to “touch” her visual senses and feelings…).   I also tell her how wild and sexually exciting it is to sleep with a lady in the middle of the savanna… listening the noise of lions hunting, etc.   Their reactions are sometimes positive but often times not.   Is it a good idea in general to talk about sexual topics right away?   I tend to believe that I’m acting too much like a nice guy otherwise — but when I try to act more like a tough, sexy guy, I get the feeling that the woman’s interest in me decreases.   It’s difficult to find the correct attitude.

Carl

Hi Carl

I always emphasize listening as part of anyone’s fundamental package of seduction techniques only because many guys tend to come on too self-centered in the sense that they will fixate and talk constantly about their own stuff to the point where they BORE other people to death, both men and women.   This limits your social opportunities to say the least, so I want to make you aware of this possible problem.

It’s just a reminder to observe BALANCE and establish a give-and-take with people — and with women it’s always better to keep things focused on them anyway.  In many ways they are like little children in the sense that they need to have others validating them all the time, because they are perpetually insecure about some aspect of themselves.   So let them do as much of the talking as possible and you just be interested and engaged.   This builds all-impoprtant connection, which gets her thinking in possible romantic terms about you.   Plus it’s easier for you as well — you only need to keep reacting and gently nudging the conversation in whatever direction you would like rather than whipping up all the content as well.

Being a creator of problems is all about romantic tension… women are unattracted to guys who don’t push back in their relationships, who become passive servants in order to try and remain on the woman’s good side.  Nice guys tend to kiss too much ass or they offer to do all sorts of favors, and this diminishes them in the woman’s eyes — producing just the opposite effect they were seeking.   Real men maintain and set boundaries and serve up the appropriate amount of grief when those lines are crossed.  Women may get pissed, but they will respect this kind of guy.  When dealing with women, doing the opposite of what seems logical is usually the way to get the results you’re seeking!   Go figure.

I’ve found that it’s usually more effective (and safer) to suggest sexual issues — mostly with lots of non-verbal flirting and a bit of well-timed innuendo here and there, rarely by talking about it directly or overtly.  The only exception would be if she starts moving things in this direction first and is provoking you to pick up the ball and run with it.  Normally though the dance of seduction is like a veil dance… little pieces come off during the course of time, and too much too soon ruins all the mystery!

If you’re getting a flat reaction on your second calls, then you either made a dull first impression or you are failing to remind her of why she was so excited to have met you in the first place (was she?).  You’ve got to recreate and nurture her enthusiasm and then strike (set up another get-together) when the iron is hot!

Hi Mike,

I am on my third reading of your book.  I must say that after each reading It seems to be soaking into the old subconscious a little bit deeper.  I have a question about the issue of establishing yourself as a HSM.

What if you meet a girl and you find out that you’ve both jumped into sex after the first or second date and that it was often a mistake.  None of these type of quickie relationships ever went well for either of us.   We have both talked about it and agree that there needs to be some time to get to know another person if you are eventually looking for a lasting relationship (she is looking for Mr. Right and thinks she has wasted a lot of years chasing after losers).   The only problem is — I am afraid of waiting TOO long.  Ya know, after reading your book, I am now petrified of being labeled as a buddy or the dreaded “friend” if things go on too long like this (with no sex)!!!

What if I tell her: “I usually have girls falling all over me after the first few dates, but it never goes anywhere.   I want to make this something special with you this time — so lets wait a month or two, and if we aren’t ripping each others clothes off by then, maybe it just wasn’t in the cards for us.”

Is it too corny or Low Status to say shit like this?… or is this the right thing to do with someone that you think might be a keeper?   I have to tell you this women is 39, a 9.5 with a jogger’s build… 5′ 7″ with the body of a 15 year old… perfect skin that smells like heaven… Sorry, I got carried away!   But you did say that when you find your perfect body-type you can’t pass it up, right?

Ron

Hey Ron,

Thanks for writing and for your continued study of the book, you are truly the motivated student!

The whole thing about the male HSM aura is most valuable in creating an initial attraction with a woman so as to have her set you up in her mind as a guy she could potentially take as a lover.  Once she’s made this evaluation of you and accepted you in this potentially romantic way, it’s alright to act in ways that you might otherwise consider to be “LSM”, since you’re kind of “home free” now to some extent.  Naturally you can’t revert to a complete sniveling wimp or her mind will change about you fast, but what you describe in your e-mail certainly isn’t going that far.

It’s very mature to do what you’re doing with her — delaying the sex and extending the courtship phase.  This is a great way to build anticipation… which is a key element of seduction.  The tease, the waiting.  It’s there to savor like a fine meal… rather than wolf down like a Quarter pounder.   You both have experienced how fast your feelings for someone can fade when this aspect is missing and you hit the bedroom too soon.  I think you’re playing this perfectly — and that dialog you wrote was right on the money… it’s exactly the sentiment you want to convey to her.  She’s no kid any more so she should be beyond the one night stand BS and ready for a guy like you who wants to take the relationship more seriously.   Pushing to get her into bed right away isn’t HSM anyway but just false machismo really, the idea of the quick conquest and all.   This produces a cute fantasy that can be very intense, but it doesn’t have much staying power over the long haul.

For that, the physical must be a final punctuation mark to a grand emotional connection, which takes time to establish.

Stay the course with her — there is little danger of her putting you in the friend category now as she’s already pegged you with “lover potential”.   You’re beyond that phase of attraction now, the first impression and all.   Just make sure you keep plenty of hands on her and frequent kissing and so forth to establish the momentum towards the bedroom… but let her continue to guess when the big moment will arrive. If this girl can’t be set up and courted in this way and love every minute of it, then she’s got big problems that you probably won’t be able to solve.

Mike…

I started hanging out with this girl Kendra a few weeks ago, and we’ve been getting it on ever since.  Here’s the tricky part though.  She is going to be expecting me to take her to the homecoming dance this Friday, but there’s this other little honey — “B” — that I’ve messed around with before, and I could take her instead.  She lives in a different city, but she comes down every once in a while.

Kendra is pretty and I enjoy screwing her quite a bit.  This other girl is much hotter and she has the sweetest ass… and I just wanna f*** the shit outta her — you know what I’m saying man?  I know that if I take B, Kendra is gonna be pissed, but I wouldn’t be that crushed if she quit f***ing me.  I really wanna bang this other girl.  What do you think about this little issue?

Marc

Hey Marc,

I would tap the new booty and piss Kendra off.  This will probably make her double her effort to then “win” you back afterwards.  Chicks dig a player even though they swear that they hate them.  They also get catty and competitive and want to steal the hottest guys from each other (leaving the poor old LSM’s standing on the sidelines beating their meat wondering why there are no women for them).  What I’m saying is that you can get this new girl and most likely have the old one back afterwards anyway (after some yelling and screaming and tears, etc.)

You’re a young guy — you’ve got to keep sowing your oats at this time in your life, so don’t worry about sticking around with any one girl for too long.  You’ll learn all about that particular form of “nagging-sexless-morphed-into-my-overweight-mother” torture when you reach middle age.

Hey…

Last night I met a girl at a bar and took her back to my place (I was too drunk to have sex, but lots of PG-13 stuff went on). Cut to a little later, she “booty calls” me and we have sex. Then I saw her on campus today and we talked for just a minute. I made it a point to listen and not reveal anything I didn’t have to about myself.

Does the fact this affair started out as just a one-night thing mess up the HSM phases? Am I really just a FB friend in her mind until proven otherwise? I mean, we had sex without building up all that much intimacy. So is it possible that I may have some of Phase 1 work left to do? See what I’m getting at here?

I’ll review those sections in your book. Being able to bounce questions off of you like this really sets you apart from anyone else in this area!

Thanks, Mike…
Barry

Barry,

Since you nailed this girl so quickly without going through the “pre-game” steps, it’s tough to imagine this thing going long term.  Actually, this girl sounds a little too immature to settle down into a relationship at this time.  She still needs to get her jollies out.  This is a problem with women in your age range — many of them are intense field players until the “marriage panic” sets in, and then all of a sudden they get serious about locking onto a guy for good.  The problem is that you don’t know exactly WHEN this happens for any particular woman, but it’s usually somewhere between age 25-30.  Younger than that they’re hard to pin down, especially the ‘party animal’ type.  Timing isn’t just about short term “when to do what when”, it’s also about hooking up with someone at the right stage of their life.

You’ll have to judge if she seems worth the effort, but I don’t know if you can turn this one into a serious relationship.  Generally, when a girl is really interested in a guy she’ll play more hard to get and make him work for it, hoping to get him to bond to her emotionally before having sex with him.  This makes it less likely that he’ll dump her.  A girl who has sex right away is just having a sport fuck and doesn’t care if she gets dumped afterwards, and probably doesn’t care about the guy either.

I would just continue to bang this one until you both get tired of each other and split into separate life directions.  It could work out long term if you keep working on those 4 primary needs in the book, but like I said, your effort could be falling on deaf ears because she just isn’t at the point in her social development where she can appreciate a guy like yourself who could meet these needs.  Once she’s been kicked to the curb a few more times that’ll change, but you’ll probably be long gone by then.

Mike, what do I do when a girl starts asking about my past relationships?

I have thought long and hard about this and can come up with no good answers.  It’s easy for a woman to “sense” whether you’ve had a fair amount of relationship experience, especially when she noticed that you don’t have a lot of stories to tell in that arena.  When a woman senses you are inexperienced in relationships, you are automatically going to be marked as a low status male and rejection is right around the corner, right?…

Should I lie and make up stories about fictitious girlfriends?  Because she can probably sense that it’s made up.  I really don’t know what to do here.  Your advice is appreciated!

Gary

Hi Gary,

When it comes to dealing with the issue of past relationships, the best thing to do is hint that you’ve had a few experiences in your past, but resist offering any details.  Move off the subject like it’s something you’d prefer not to talk about.  You think it’s a sign of low male status to seem inexperienced?  Well it’s an even bigger sign to lie outrageously about things you’ve never done!… and she will see right through this sham.

On the other hand, the HSM is discreet and doesn’t need to show off that he can “get girls”… that’s because he’s really doing it!

Did you ever notice how a guy talks BEFORE he’s had sex with a girl that he’s trying to score with, as opposed to AFTER he’s dating her and actually having sex with her for real?  Before he’s ever really getting any, he’s a loud mouth bragging all over the place about how he’s going to fuck her every which way imaginable.  But afterwards, he clams up.. and you can’t get any details out of him.  What’s going on?  Guys become discreet because their reality is suddenly satisfying enough for them, there is no longer any need to boost their egos by making shit up.

The guys who talk, DON’T (get any) and the guys who don’t talk, DO!

Since you would like her to believe that you’re experienced, then ACT like a guy who is… be reluctant to talk about it. Say, “I’ve had a few relationships before, but we grew apart and moved on.  We parted on good terms.”  And that’s all you want to say about it.  Have a few names ready to drop in case she prys hard, otherwise… next topic.  This will score triple points with her: 1) It shows that you have some experience (like any HSM would), 2) It suggests that you’re not a violent type, or especially the type of guy who holds grudges (nasty LSM behavior) since you always end your relationships on good terms, and 3) it demonstrates that you are discreet when it comes to talking about past lovers.  This is comforting for her to know because someday SHE might be another one of your ex’s!… and she won’t have to worry about you blabbing everything you know about her to the world, especially in a vindictive manner.  This makes it more safe for her to open up to you, as a bonus.

These things are all UNspoken directly of course, but are conveyed by your attitude about this subject.