The hidden secret behind all your social awkwardness and inability to connect or find love could be due to a thinking distortion known as Toxic Shame

Little Bobby is 2 years old.  He likes to run around the house naked -- laughing and screaming with joy as his parents chase him from room to room with the camcorder.  They tell him to Toradol For Sale, "quit showing everybody that silly poo-poo bottom....", but they think it's hysterical and do nothing to stop it.  Why should they?  Dashing around butt naked is appropriate, healthy behavior for a 2 year old who's just discovered the most delightful means of coordinating the rapid movement of his legs in such a way that he can now run!... Order Toradol from United States pharmacy, (an absolutely transcendent advancement over mere walking, which was last month's big achievement).  Being without clothing is no big deal either, buy no prescription Toradol online, Buy generic Toradol, of course -- as long as it's not too cold in the house.  Life is good.  Life is magical...

A year later Bobby is 3, ordering Toradol online, Buy Toradol online cod, and grandma is visiting.  Bobby decides to run out of the bathroom after his bath and surprise grandma... make her laugh and be silly.  But today it's Bobby who's in for the surprise, Toradol trusted pharmacy reviews, Toradol description, because when grandma sees him running towards her au naturel with his ding dong happily bouncing around, she gets an angry look on her face which stops him cold.  She scolds him, fast shipping Toradol, Where can i find Toradol online, "Shame on you Bobby, go put some clothes on!".  Bobby is confused.  Mom and dad never said anything like that to him.  They never yelled at Bobby for being a silly poo-poo head.  As far as he was concerned, comprar en línea Toradol, comprar Toradol baratos, Online buying Toradol hcl, there was no real difference between wearing clothes and not wearing them anyway, right, Toradol schedule. Toradol dose, So what's wrong with grandma anyway?  Why is she making Bobby feel so bad about being naked all of a sudden?  "You shouldn't run around like that, it's not right..." grandma scolds.  Bobby looks to his parents, Toradol pictures, Toradol reviews, moving around in the kitchen getting dinner ready, for some support.  "Mom?" he asks quizzically.  But now both his parents have funny looks on their faces too, generic Toradol, Toradol online cod, adding to Bobby's dismay.  Mom quickly grabs Bobby by the hand and takes him upstairs and gets him into his PJ's.  Now when he comes back, grandma is happy again.  But why?  What was the big deal about being naked, real brand Toradol online.

Soon, anytime Bobby thinks about running around the house naked, he gets a funny, uncomfortable feeling inside of him that he doesn't like.  This strange bad feeling goes away if he puts his clothes back on.  And he would never, ever dream of running around the house naked in front of grandma again.., Toradol For Sale. Doses Toradol work, that's for sure!

Soon, he won't be comfortable doing it in front of his parents either, australia, uk, us, usa, Rx free Toradol, and they seem to be okay with that.  They never want to play 'chase my poo-poo bottom with the camcorder' any more anyway.  Oh well...

Welcome to Behavioral Modification 101.

This is of course a very common story that every parent has faced at some point in their children's development, buy Toradol from mexico, Order Toradol online c.o.d, seemingly straightforward... but do you see what really just happened here?  Little Bobby has just learned to associate the emotion of SHAME with the act of being naked in front of others.  In the coming years, Toradol price, coupon, About Toradol, he will also learn that it's shameful to touch himself "down there" in public, nor to let anyone look at him when he's in the bathroom on the toilet, online buy Toradol without a prescription, Toradol use, and then even in the bathtub.  Things are sure becoming different around here.

Now, Toradol street price, Where can i buy cheapest Toradol online, Bobby's new sense of modesty certainly may not be considered anything close to being toxic, but he'll have plenty of opportunity for that to happen as the years roll by.  The development of a sense of shame is normal and healthy when it serves to set appropriate boundaries for our actions at various stages in our evolution from toddler to adult.  Shame endows our flowering sense of ego-dominated identity with a certain humility that guides our interactions with other individuals.  It helps us learn to take on more and more responsibility for our actions by slowly becoming aware of how they affect everyone else around us.  We discover empathy in this way, Toradol forum.

It's important to understand that the mechanism of shame is mainly one of association Toradol For Sale, , that is, we learn to associate the unpleasant sensation of being ashamed with behaviors that society wishes for us to control or suppress in some way.  Shame is commonly wielded by parents to control the behavior of adolescents, but it is most certainly used against adults as well.  Morals and values and the boundaries of acceptable public and private behavior are all "taught" to us by way of inducing shameful experiences at some point in our lives in order to make them "sink in". Is Toradol safe, To a certain extent this is okay, but the deadly vise-grip of deeply internalized shame can become stifling over time and fully degenerate into a form known as toxic. Toxic shame occurs when we are exposed – either physically or emotionally – in a way that repeatedly diminishes us in the presence of others, Toradol maximum dosage, No prescription Toradol online, and especially in situations where we are not prepared to experience such an exposure.

How pervasive are the effects of toxic shame.

Well, where can i cheapest Toradol online, Toradol overnight, humiliation is an extreme form of toxic shame that is so awful, men will put their lives in jeopardy in order to avoid experiencing it or to avenge it.  Physical violence and murders routinely are committed due to violations of shame boundaries.  Emotionally rigid cultures like the Japanese partake in a form of ritual suicide called hara-kiri to absolve themselves of toxic shame or the so-called "loss of face".., Toradol no rx. Toradol price, choosing the extreme action killing oneself to restore honor to themselves and their family name -- rather than continuing to live a "faceless" existence.  And most devastating of all, almost every form of addictive behavior has its roots in the desperate need of the afflicted individual to escape from an overwhelming sense of shame that he or she feels has completely consumed them, effects of Toradol. Toradol interactions, You see, it's when shame begins to exceed its normal function within our minds, Toradol coupon, i.e. to provide us with a sense of humility that grounds our identity somewhere between God and the lower beasts, that it begins to create problems.  Usually this happens either through some unrelenting source (i.e., constant harassment by parent or peers), or by way of an isolated or even continuous traumatic event.  Such repeated shaming events re-enforce themselves over and over and can continue to haunt us for a lifetime, Toradol For Sale.

Toxic Shame kneels before the mighty power of Self Compassion

The most powerful counter force to toxic shame is Self-Compassion and Self-Awareness. Part of the dysfunction of shame is manifested in a tendency for us to be way too hard on ourselves -- continuing the desire for self-punishment... taking up the mantle of past tormentors.  Just knowing about the effects of shame and becoming aware of how it might be pervasive in out lives is a powerful tool for its' eventual destruction.  That's because one of the great strengths of an over-inflated sense of shame has to do with it's stealth.  The fact that you don't comprehend how deeply it's affecting you allows it to continue to operate unchecked within your mind, silently creating shyness or rage or depression or all manner of other emotionally addictive-type behaviors that could be ruining your life.

This is why we always seek the safe harbor self-awareness: because simply being aware of these hidden subconscious monsters and what they are doing to us drags them out into the bright light of our logical and rational consciousness... where they will often burn up under the heat of reason like vampires in the sunlight.  You can begin your own journey to freedom by doing the self-examination and inner work that will lead you to this elevated state of self-awareness.  Once you are able to "step outside yourself" and see yourself and your deepest motivations from a larger and more objective viewpoint, you will be firmly on the road to self-discovery and permanent inner healing from all the accumulated effects of toxic shame..

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Buy Modalert Without Prescription, This is a question and answer exchange that I just had with one of my readers. It began as a question about traveling alone and turned into a screed on the topic of self-hatred, Modalert no prescription, which I have come to believe over the years to be a much bigger issue with guys seeking solutions for things like shyness and social dysfunction than many of us realize. To wit:

Hey Mike,

I've had some stuff twirling around in my head lately that I wanted to bounce off of you, having recently just turned 40, online Modalert without a prescription. I'm single again, Modalert from canadian pharmacy, having just broke up with my girlfriend (my decision). Not easy to do as she was a great girl, but I just seem to get bored in relationships like you, order Modalert online c.o.d. Also like you, Online buying Modalert, I got a late start in life on bedding women. Anyway, Buy Modalert Without Prescription. my question is a lifestyle type query.

I'm interested in your take on how a single guy should go about traveling and vacationing on his own.

This is becoming a real dilemma for me, being single at my age, ordering Modalert online. Not a lot of unmarried, Modalert interactions, single friends left to hang around with anymore. Last year I went by myself to the Dominican Republic -- not to a resort but to a town where all the girls are "pros" if you know what I mean. It was amazing what an ego boost it was.., Modalert pics. Buy Modalert Without Prescription, you'd of thunk that I was Brad Pitt or something. LOL...

Don't get me wrong, Modalert schedule, I realize that I'm only desirable in that type of situation because I'm perceived as having some sort of relative wealth -- a form of being an HSM I suppose. However, I seem to have a little bit of an issue with feeling like a loser doing this sort of thing.., online buy Modalert without a prescription. like a guy who can't get an ordinary American woman and so ultimately has to pay for it. Modalert photos, I know that some guys swear by this lifestyle and insist that some of these foreign women are much more sensuous and feminine than their spoiled American counterparts. I don't know...

Are these guys on to something, or are we all just acting like misogynistic LSM's who can't score American chicks?

I've thought about learning Spanish and maybe moving to Buenos Aires, Buy Modalert Without Prescription. Those Argentine women are hot. Sounds adventurous I know, order Modalert online overnight delivery no prescription, but I guess when I get to the bottom of it, Buy cheap Modalert no rx, I wonder if this isn't me just running away from my problems of low status and my inability to score lots of women here in the good ole U.S. of A?

Do you think I should I stick it out and try to achieve what ever status I can here at home, or is it okay to try and be a bigger fish in a smaller pond, doses Modalert work. I'd love to hear your take on this idea, Purchase Modalert for sale, I know it's not your specialty per se but I do value your perspective. Thanks again for your time!

Buy Modalert Without Prescription, Sincerely,
Mark

--

Hey Mark,

Good to hear from you again. About 3 years ago I went to Las Vegas for 5 days by myself and I didn't find that NOT having a companion with me was any sort of big detriment -- except maybe for going to certain sit-down type of restaurants where you might feel odd dining alone. You know how it is, what is Modalert, certain activities you can do by yourself and others are "couple" things that will make you feel uncomfortable. Modalert dosage, That's your only practical restriction really, and there are plenty of fast food joints where you can dine alone with a newspaper. Other than that I was fine seeing the sights, about Modalert, gambling, Modalert reviews, etc... all by myself, Buy Modalert Without Prescription.

Then again... certain activities are better done alone, buy Modalert online cod, WITHOUT the 'ole girlfriend tagging along. Modalert pictures, Things such as...

Well, I visited one of the nearby legal cathouses just outside Vegas on this trip because I always wanted to see what they were like, no prescription Modalert online. Buy Modalert Without Prescription, The experience was pretty surrealistic in fact... however, Modalert maximum dosage, a fun (but WAY too expensive...) time was had by all, especially me. And so what, generic Modalert. Did I break some kind of sacrosanct "HSM code" by paying for sex. Modalert brand name, And who cares if I did anyway.

This is the EXACT sort of attitude shift that you too will need to achieve in order to ultimately address your own internal doubts about this issue.

I believe that we accumulate an unwieldy library of these stupid, self-created "internal rules" over the course of a lifetime that eventually bind us up in a kind of mental strait jacket, Buy Modalert Without Prescription. Soon we can't even conceive of doing anything the simple way anymore without feeling guilty about it. Why?.., Modalert duration. because we "broke the rules". Modalert recreational, The precious rules... the rules that exist only within our own thick skulls.

Well I've found this network of rules to actually be a form of very subtle and sly self-hatred. Buy Modalert Without Prescription, Don't ask me why we do this to ourselves -- but the sooner you can recognize and chuck all this crap from your head the sooner you will become free to just let go and follow your heart wherever it may want to take you. And that's the real goal that you want to always be pursuing relentless in life, the goal of mental freedom.

Case in point about your desire to seek out women who might be vastly more easier to relate to than the typical ball-busting, buying Modalert online over the counter, judgmental American bitch... Cheap Modalert, the delightful product of 50 years of feminism. Certainly not like the girls dear old dad used to marry, that's for sure.., Modalert blogs. fresh out of high school with all that good home-ec training (cooking, Purchase Modalert online, baking, cleaning, housework), after Modalert. That right, they used to TRAIN women in high school how to be good supportive wives who graded their own self-worth by how well they treated their husbands, Buy Modalert Without Prescription. Even suggesting that this sort of thing might be anything less than total domestic-slavery-brainwashing will get you a swift kick in the balls nowadays, Where can i order Modalert without prescription, you MFn' pig.

You now desire to chuck this nasty USA scene and go looking for more "agreeable" women elsewhere, but your self-hating side quickly steps in and says: "hey forget it, Modalert trusted pharmacy reviews, that's cheating.... Modalert treatment, you have to try and meet women in the toughest environment possible or it doesn't count."

See, that's the central tenet and mode of operation of self-hatred: you must do everything the hardest way possible or it doesn't count. Note that other (lesser human) people can choose to take the easy way out and that's okay.., buy no prescription Modalert online. Buy Modalert Without Prescription, but not YOU -- you have to take the hardest route because you're special... you're superhuman. Buy Modalert no prescription, That's the Disabled Ego at work...

...Special tough rules define the special "tough" guy.

There's a great book to read that dives deep into this psychological phenomenon, Modalert online cod, it's called Compassion and Self-Hate: An Alternative to Despair by Theodore I. Rubin, Buy Modalert Without Prescription. Modalert from mexico, What we call "cheating" is in fact what a therapist knowledgeable in the mechanics of self hatred would call compassion.

Compassion.

For a moment, online buying Modalert hcl, just consider that entire galaxy of nasty internal rules that hold you back -- would you ever force them upon someone else. Someone you loved, like a son perhaps. Buy Modalert Without Prescription, No way. See how with others we feel free to express our compassion. But don't go looking for any such free passes inside your own head for yourself. Cheater.

Another example: I grew up Catholic, but my own self-hatred forced me to become an atheist for awhile because (I now understand) that faith is a form of compassion for oneself -- and of course such a thing is flat-out cheating because it violates The Big Mike Self-Hate Rule: that you can only believe what's demonstrable scientifically no matter how much it brings you down emotionally.

Logic is king, emotions are irrelevant (only superhuman rules apply to me, remember), and bending logic to assuage emotions is a crime against nature, Buy Modalert Without Prescription. Only overgrown babies (SUB-human's) run around expressing their faith you see, because they aren't strong enough mentally (like super me!) to face the scary facts of random existence and postmortem non-existence without anything to comfort them. It doesn't matter how you feel (emotions are irrelevant), you are a prisoner of the facts of the Universe as they reveal themselves, and trying to escape them via delusional thinking is weakness and therefore pathetic.

Cheating.

Now, this may be the sort of nonsense that we like to tell ourselves, but would we ever actually burden someone else with this same set of cold, inviolate rules -- perhaps even on their death bed. Buy Modalert Without Prescription, Or would we instead say: "let the guy find comfort in his faith, so what if none of it's actually proven. Who cares?" Of course this solution is never valid for you, just the other guy. We go easy on him but never on ourselves.

All this madness forms the nuts-and-bolts of self-hatred -- and it manifests itself in zillions of complicated and difficult to understand ways. It's just the way that "we are" (or so we think). But there is a hidden kernel of compassion locked away in everyone's heart and you need to find yours, Buy Modalert Without Prescription. Depression, disillusionment... these are all cries from deep within to be free of the self-hating monster that we created. Read that book if you can. The entire human race should read it. Buy Modalert Without Prescription, Anyway, this was a long-winded way of recommending that you dig out your own self-hating internal rules from under the mental rock where they hide and spray some compassion on them. Stop being so hard on yourself by worrying about hypothetical HSM-LSM issues etc. I recommend that you seek out your own happiness by whatever route you must take.

No one will ever ask how you got there or judge whether or not you "cheated" by failing to take the hardest road possible. Are you gonna get a medal for remaining true to your self hated. Where do they hand those baby's out, Buy Modalert Without Prescription. (I would look like one of those old Soviet generals if they did ;-)

Want to know the saddest part. In the end, I discovered that self-hatred is a complete a waste of time... because when you finally DO break the grip of those murderous rules YOU WON'T CARE IN THE LEAST! You'll see that nobody gives a damn about the exact trajectory of your life, but you. And if you won't even give yourself a break then there's no hope at all -- because everyone else is too tied-up wrestling with their own demons to worry about "saving you". You're sitting in the middle of the desert waiting for that ship to come in.

And man, this is the best wisdom that I can ever pass along to you. Take care buddy.

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Vermox For Sale, The other day I received a sad letter from a guy who seems to have completely hit bottom in a social sense.  He wrote of having been unable to function around people since high school, of being the butt of universal scorn, humor and disrespect all his life.  Embarrassment and shattered courage dogged his every failed attempt to connect with women.  What this man described to me sounded more than just a case of ordinary rejection fear and more like full blown social phobia.  He talked about having been bullied, humiliated and put down by his peers and possibly even his own family while growing up, although it wasn't clear to me if this later fact was true.  I would bet that his upbringing contributed in some way though, by instilling in him a high degree of shame about some critical aspect of his own sense of self-worth.

So I wrote him back, buy Vermox online cod, Buy generic Vermox, and now I'd like to share some of my thoughts with you concerning this issue of being trapped in a private hell of social isolation -- at least from my humble layman's perspective (a layman who's read over 1,000 letters from shy and troubled men all across the world, kjøpe Vermox på nett, köpa Vermox online, Where can i buy cheapest Vermox online, however...).

Life-long, Vermox steet value, Vermox pictures, repeated negative re-enforcement of any stimulus -- good or bad -- has an almost hypnotic effect on the unconscious mind.  Relentless psychological abuse becomes a form of brainwashing that fosters chronic feelings of loss and helplessness, which then becomes deeply integrated into your soul.  It makes you begin to doubt what your actual value to the world and to the people in your life might even be -- while drawing a line around what is and isn't possible for you to accomplish by creating a high barrier of self-limiting beliefs, purchase Vermox. Purchase Vermox for sale, A person who's been mistreated all his life soon becomes something like a dog that's been beaten since it was a puppy... until it ultimately learns to cower in fear of everyone.  In the case of people, Vermox maximum dosage, Vermox natural, we tend to lose trust in ourselves and our own natural talents.  You then begin to get caught up in a personal passion play involving the poisonous emotion of Self-Hatred.

How self-hatred works in the human consciousness is really pretty nasty because it causes you to make a 'devil's bargain' in your head that goes something like this: focus on something that's very important to you (money, respect, Vermox without a prescription, Online buying Vermox hcl, authority, friends / family, where to buy Vermox, Where can i buy Vermox online, women or love) and deny yourself access to that pleasure by engaging in some manner of subtle self-sabotage (i.e., self defeating behavior), buy cheap Vermox, Vermox without prescription, which then makes it impossible to bring these elements into your life.

For those of us with social anxieties, the self-hatred usually turns it's destructive forces upon our desire to connect with others and have meaningful relationships with them.  The other half of the bargain has to do with green-lighting various other addictions "as compensation" for the pain being caused.., Vermox For Sale. such as drugs, effects of Vermox, Discount Vermox, food, chronic masturbation, Vermox use, Vermox images, etc.

Now the yin-yang of failure is firmly locked in your skull, order Vermox from United States pharmacy. Vermox recreational, Your unconscious mind then sets about re-enforcing this distorted, dark image that it has created by having you act in bizarre or socially awkward ways that will cause this precisely envisioned reality of rejection and social scorn to form itself around you.  The subconscious, about Vermox, Vermox mg, self-hating "you" can then look around and think: "see, I was right all along.., Vermox duration. Cheap Vermox, you are a complete social incompetent, and everyone hates you!", Vermox coupon. It has now become what they call Vermox For Sale, self-referencing, having created it's own proof that it is correct in it's twisted view of you.  You have become your own "bitch" in a sense. Vermox treatment, This type of mental self-destruction doesn't have to focus itself on your social life either.  A person's self-hating machinery can just as easily create a life situation where you are flat broke all the time (via low paying job, gambling, Vermox gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, Cheap Vermox no rx, divorce+child support, etc.) IF it thinks that money is the most important thing in your life.  But for many of the socially inhibited, taking Vermox, Buy Vermox no prescription, your self-hate has decided that love and companionship are what you really desire the most, and so THAT'S where this beast has targeted its point of torture, online Vermox without a prescription. Vermox price, coupon, The actual mechanics of social / romantic self-hatred in action are rather straightforward: you become convinced on a deep unconscious level of your worthlessness as a person... so much so that you begin to PRE-reject yourself in every little minor social encounter before the other person has even had a chance to make their own unique assessment of you.  You are helping them "see" what an LSM (low status male) you really are so they don't get it wrong! Your behavior acts as a signal that broadcasts "worthless human approaching, canada, mexico, india, Vermox dangers, get ready to laugh..." and is picked up and unconsciously acted upon by others.  A kind of self fulfilling prophecy.

Understand this: people are not mind readers, is Vermox addictive. They watch for body language and verbal clues being broadcast from YOU to decide how they should be feeling about you.  Are you harmless or a threat to them?  Open or cautious, secretive or friendly?  What's the deal with you?  This is how people reflexively think because meeting strangers always entails a certain amount of fear.  It's inbred into us after millions of years of evolution where it has served our survival.  In modern societies where we are mostly protected from random strangers harming us however, it tends to get in the way of our social progress quite a bit, Vermox For Sale. Vermox pics, So do you get what I'm saying here?...  people will pick up and then COPY however it is that you seem to regard yourself. Then they will attach this label to you (accurate or not) and it becomes their first and most powerful impression of you, doses Vermox work. Where can i find Vermox online, Remember what I said... people are NOT mind readers.  I'm stressing this because I want you to understand the vital importance of the signals that you are sending out with your behaviors and actions (not even necessarily with your words -- you can make a "silent" bad impression on someone too). Vermox For Sale, Imagine for instance that you present yourself to someone when first meeting them as being powerful and genuine and charismatic, and they think to themselves: "Hmmm, this guy seems to have a high regard for himself for some reason (which they cannot know why yet), so I guess I'll show him some respect until he gives me a reason to do otherwise".

But if you present yourself instead as shy and ashamed and embarrassed for no apparent reason they will think: "Why is this guy acting like this?  What's he hiding?  Why can't he look me in the eye... is he a thief or a pervert or something?  He seems scared or ashamed of himself, and because he doesn't seem to respect himself, then I guess I don't like him either...".

People perform these gymnastics of the mind instantly and effortlessly -- almost like an instinct.  That's why first impressions are so darn critical... we all have sensitive antenna that (we think) allows us to identify the unsavory or undesirable personalities around us immediately.  You cannot defeat this universal character of human nature, you have to learn how to play it instead.

So here's the pattern the typical LSM develops over time: You've made a sweeping, negative shame-based judgement of yourself, taught yourself to hate yourself for being this "horrible" person, and then developed a ROUTINE that runs with machine-like precision to torture yourself in the cruelest way possible.  This monster is on public display for everyone to watch it work, adding to the humiliation.

Your actions and nervousness then transmit these negative self-judgements for others to pick up upon and reflect back at you.  ...But it is YOU who were originally responsible for everyone's low regard because you were the first guy to make this judgement of yourself!

-

Now there are two basic ways to go about changing all this cyclic poor thinking in yourself -- you can either seek out the kind of therapy or self-help that tries to root out the original past hurts that have molded your personality into its' present crippled form...

Or, you can begin to look at your awkward social behaviors simply as a collection of bad mechanical habits that you've consistently repeated over and over to the point where you've become like a droid running on unconscious auto-pilot.  The task then becomes one of trying to replace these bad mechanical habits with more useful ones that advance your social status rather than tear it down into the gutter.  How to turn around a life in the process of failing in this way?  I suggest using the following resources which together probably won't cost you more than a few bucks:

First, get yourself schooled-up on the nature of self-hatred, almost in the way that a therapist would understand it.  Learn to break the back of your own self-hate by digging out the mechanics behind it -- and then learn how to become self-compassionate instead (because this is the only true answer to beating self-hatred).  Look at the top Amazon listing that I have provided for you here on this PUA Resources page:

Compassion and Self Hate
By Theodore I, Vermox For Sale. Rubin, M.D.

This book is absolutely fantastic and sits on my own bookshelf here at home (as do the other two books listed below).  It will open your eyes to the insidious nature of this powerful negative mind-force.  You don't have to be a crazy self-mutilator wielding a razor on yourself to be classified as self-hating -- we actually ALL have a little bit of this issue going on within us to some degree... as you'll be amazed to discover reading this book.  Your own may be pretty big, but it's not insurmountable.  Compassion and Self Hate lays out concrete examples of how to identify and correct this mental problem in yourself.

Next, develop an understanding of the intricate framework of self-defeating behaviors that support all the bad habits that have come to exist exclusively to torment the "hated one" (...ah, that would be YOU!).  SDB's are the tools through which self-hatred manifests itself in your physical reality. It's those collection of behaviors and attitudes that creates the reality around you that matches the distorted image of who you are in your own mind.  In the case of the socially awkward of course, that would be all those behaviors that turn women off and cause them to reject us romantically.

Here's a great book to teach yourself all about SDB's:

Self-Defeating Behaviors Vermox For Sale, by Milton Cudney, PhD & Robert Hardy, EdD

Finally, go really deep inside your head and discover what toxic shame is all about -- and especially understand the power that this vicious emotion has to quietly sneak up on your consciousness and completely take it over:

Healing the Shame that Binds You
by John Bradshaw

Whereas learning about self-hate and SDB's can answer the question of "how", the idea of toxic shame answers the question... "why"? This incredible book by John Bradshaw is the one seminal work of invaluable self-help that started me off on my own path to self-recovery, and I give it my highest recommendation.

All of these book recommendations that I'm making to you come from the heart and are completely non-commercial BTW (I'm not an Amazon affiliate presently).  These books are not just full of positive rah-rah bullshit either -- each one offers a rational explanation for the thinking inaccuracies that have taken over your mind (and that's actually all they are: mere thinking inaccuracies.  No need to make your problems any more amazing than that -- it only gives them more power than they deserve.)

These thinking inaccuracies simply need to be 1) understood in theory, 2) identified as to how they operate specifically in your own life, and then 3) corrected by re-framing them into positive mental structures that replace the lousy thoughts that are presently filling your head.

Lots of work to chew on I know -- but you've likely spent years cultivating the man who you presently are, and you can't just turn it all around overnight.  Try to break this "inner work" up into manageable parts and work on little bits of it at a time in order to keep yourself from becoming over-whelmed and discouraged.  Celebrate every little victory and achievement along the way to making your own positive changes and keep yourself motivated.

Bottom Line: If you're buying a lot of various different materials on meeting women and dating and you're still not having any luck with most of it, then it might be worth starting farther back down the timeline and begin tackling some of these more basic fundamentals that underlie your personality, first.

My own and these other PUA materials will then begin to make a lot more sense to you once you've removed some of the mental blocks that could be preventing you from taking the REAL ACTIONS that you need to take in order to become more socially skilled and good at this stuff.  I'm talking about those scary things like live practice which goes beyond just reading about how to score with women.  Your courage will improve as your mind clears.

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