The High Status Male

You’re at the corner Gas-N-Go doing some mindless chore when suddenly you find yourself face-to-face with a little cutie who’s gazing back at you with that glassy, wide-eyed look that all us guys with one track minds love to see.  You smile and make some ridiculous remark about something totally pointless, but she lights up anyway and gives you a rockin’ return smile.  You maybe even get a flash of that doe-eyed, “take me” look.  Pre-occupied with the weighty decision of Cheesy Poofs vs. Raw Onion Crunchies however, you have no time to humor her along any further.

So after this brief but enlightening exchange of pleasantries you turn away and ignore her.  You then spot the girl a few minutes later while up at the counter checking out, but now she won’t even look at you — or she gives you that quick “too bad” look and vanishes into the parking lot.  A few minutes later while driving back home you think to yourself… “Geez, was that chick flirting with me or what?…”

And so it goes… another unlikely SURPRISE chance to hook up with a hot little number shot down the tubes.  All because you either forgot in the moment or don’t actually even know how to respond to a sudden flirt that sneaks up on you.  Hey, been there my friend… this used to happen to me ALL the time! Not all that frequently mind you (ha!… I wish) — but whenever I DID happen to stumble across a surprise flirt like this the result was always the same… down in flames!

That’s because my response to a flirt that sandbagged me was always predictable: complete and total lock-up. A perfectly juicy opportunity lost forever — something to grit my teeth over later on that night when I think about it over and over again, wondering what I could’ve done differently.

I have thought about this problem in depth and I’ve tried to look at it logically and without emotion as much as possible.  Here’s what I think: that a lot of this failure to engage can be chalked up to simple DISBELIEF even more than fear. Disbelief in the sense that by the time the gravity of the situation sinks in past my cynical BS filter and I realize… “hey, this chick is flirting with me!” the magical moment is gone and the opportunity lost.

I talk in my books about how your best chances to meet great women will often seem to happen “out of the blue” when you least expect them.  This is why I believe that an absolutely critical social skill when it comes to being good with women is the ability to switch mental gears and spring into action at the VERY FIRST SIGN that a chick might dig you!  Don’t waste time pondering why this could be happening or anything else, just act!  Go ahead and connect with her FIRST and get her number or e-mail or whatever you can, and THEN sort out all your anxieties later.  You know, all those useless academic questions such as: “would this girl be compatible with me”, or “what’s wrong with her that she’s flirting with me?…”

Alright then, with this basic idea now firmly established let me share a few of my thoughts on this ONE particular maddening aspect of gaming women: the surprise flirt.

1)  Don’t Freeze-Up wondering why YOU could be her guy. The single biggest killer in this situation is hesitation.  Like so much of the sport of gaming women, timing is everything.  However, in this situation minutes don’t matter, SECONDS matter.  When a chick opens a sudden flirt you literally have a window of opportunity available to you that’s measured in mere seconds.  You should almost see a ten second counter open up over her head that immediately begins running down  9….8….7…. to remind you of how little time you have to act in a way that plays perfectly off her opening volley.

The big mental block here is a defeatist self-image of yourself as not being “flirting material” or “worthy” like Wayne and Garth or whatever.  But while you’re wondering why a chick this cute would actually be flirting with a lowlife such as yourself, precious seconds are tick, tick, ticking away -- and with it goes your chance to score a number!

Therefore:

MAJOR FLIRTING RULE #1: If she’s not immediately seeing the reaction that she was hoping to see from you, (that you are socially skilled enough to respond to a flirt) the woman will almost always take this as an immediate rejection!  Once that happens she will pull back (I’ve actually seen them physically snap back) and the flirt is OVER.  Women have no tolerance for rejection, and will rarely ever try to bull their way through it like a guy would.  Therefore, you must be very careful to seem IMMEDIATELY open and accepting of her offer to flirt around with you, and take up the verbal volley with good humor!

MAJOR FLIRTING RULE #2: You never know what any other person in the world considers to be their “type”, so don’t let the question of what “she” might see in lil’ ol’ “you” even cross your mind for an instant.  Who cares?  You’ve seen tons of hot chicks hooked up with gross, grubby dudes, haven’t you?  Just accept her judgement and GO WITH IT!  No over-thinking of what’s going on — no suspicion of motives, no paranoia, no disbelief. None of that junk must be allowed to intrude into your mind at this critical moment when you’re “on the clock”.  That crap will only result in a freeze-up, and once that happens it’s game-over.

2)  A Sudden Flirt is always your chance to shine. It doesn’t matter if your silly little joke is lame or if your words are stuttering or smooth (or even exactly WHAT you say to her) — the important thing is that you are attempting to react to her gift of a flirt in a positive way that reflects those good feelings right back at her.  You are playing the game!  Your willingness to pick up a flirt speaks volumes about yourself… and it’s all good stuff! It says that you are active socially (and therefore something of a catch), that you have good self-esteem, you’re pleasant around people AS A REFLEX, and so on.

This is the best way to communicate these sorts of qualities to women… with your ACTIONS rather than your bragging BS words!

Think of it this way: you’ve been given the opportunity to put yourself over with a deliberate charm rather than being forced to apply a load of “pick up artist” blather — and you should always SEIZE this type of chance with enthusiasm because they doesn’t come by too often.  A woman initiating a flirt is taking a big personal risk to give you a fat GO signal in the only way that she knows how — admittedly a bit awkward and the entire “surprise” thing is somewhat unfair — but unfairness ABOUNDS throughout the universe of man-woman affairs of the heart.  Why should this aspect of it be any different?

3)  Let Her “Win” the Flirt.  Remember, SHE started this and so it’s HER play. That means if you pick up her flirt and give it right back in a fun and friendly way, then SHE WINS! By that I mean you’ve confirmed her charm as a woman… she “won” your male attention!  Get it?  This sort of thing is thrilling to a woman and puts her in an instant happy / satisfied mood from which you can naturally be expected to seek to want to get together with her again soon.  It plays into all her most dreamy “chick flick” fantasies!

Anyway, once you’ve spread around the good vibes you should then…

4)  Follow Up Immediately. Get her name and number and pop it straight into your cellphone, or use a low-tech pen and scrap of paper… whatever you have to do to make it possible to hook up with her again before she forgets about you or has second thoughts.  Even better, offer to meet her somewhere within the next 1-3 days at some “happening” place… a nightclub, corner bar, a nearby special event, the local bowling alley, whatever.  Whatever fits YOUR particular style and is centered around a place that you would normally frequent and know something about.  Figure out what this actual place should be IN ADVANCE and have it stored in your noggin always ready to whip out and use at key moments like these!

Don’t overthink this: simply INVITE (don’t “ask” and especially don’t beg!) her to meet you at XYZ Club this Friday night… you know they have great steamed clams or killer Buffalo wings, etc.  Make it a safe, public venue that you would usually hang out at… somewhere she would certainly know about if she lives in the area.  Invite her to meet you there for a drink or a coffee or to watch you play softball.  “You seem very charming (cool, fun-loving)” is all you need to say.

Simple words spoken WHERE THEY ARE WELCOME will rock her world!

Inviting her out to a public party spot also has the added benefit of making you seem like a social, happening guy — rather than nervously asking for her “magic 7 digits” like some porn-bookmarking nerd.  Tantalizing a woman to JOIN YOUR WORLD as opposed to doing you a favor by even agreeing to see you again makes a rockin’ statement about your High Male Status! Such impressions may be unspoken and subliminal, but this is what makes them so psychologically powerful as well.

So in review, DON’T EVER WONDER “WHY ME?” — LET HER WIN THE FLIRT — HAVE A STANDARD PLAN FOR FURTHER CONTACT. Write these simple but effective rules for responding to a flirt down on a card and stick them onto your bathroom mirror so you can stare at them every morning hovering right next to your heinous, unflirtable mug.  This will drive these concepts deep into your brain so that the next time you get hit with a surprise flirt from some little hottie pumping gas into her Mercedes right next to you, you’ll be able to react cooly and professionally within seconds.

Almost as swift as the glint of lust sparkling in her eyes!

Hello everyone, sorry I haven’t posted in a while… but I’ve been busy, busy cooking up a brand new online FREE Audio Training series that I’m sure you guys will find most useful.  Stay tuned for word on that in the coming weeks…

For now, just this quick announcement concerning the RE-release of my classic “Tome of the PUA Arts”: Without Embarrassment — which I am very pleased to be presenting to you today as a newly upgraded version… IN PRINT!

The books themselves look absolutely beautiful as expected: 6×9 glossy softcover, 300 pages and very professionally produced via Amazon.com’s CreateSpace print-on-demand system.  I’m very proud to be unveiling Without Embarrassment to the world once again in this classy format. E-books may be the future but hey, it’s nice to be able to kick back on the recliner now and then and get away from the computer with a good book!

Both Without Embarrassment and She’s Yours For The Taking are reasonably priced at $24.95 — and I set up a discount code for you to use in celebration of this mini- launch.  Simply go to my Createspace storefront…

…and type in the Discount Code: B9XALS5F at checkout to receive a 10% savings off the cover price!

(For you guys who have a One-Click already setup at Amazon and would rather buy directly through them, you can pull up the book listing right here)

(The discount code does NOT work through Amazon unfortunately.  But you’ve got both options to choose from.)

If you’d like to look over 10 or 15 pages selected at random from the e-book (which is EXACTLY the same content now as the printed book) you can read through some pages posted on the site.  Here’s the link for that (give this page a few seconds to load — these are screen-captured images off the Adobe Reader):

You may also wish to take a peek at the stack of TESTIMONIALS that have coming flying in here over the years for Without Embarrassment…

Finally, take a moment to pop back over to the main page and you’ll see that I’ve chopped the price of the 2 book Combo Pack (the e-book versions) all the way down to $27 bucks from $67 — which is a super-duper crazy Eddie type deal.  I’m now offering my 2 audio programs ‘Dealing With Your Fear of Rejection’ and ‘Kick Ass Confidence’ as separate upsell items for only an extra $10 bucks — which now gives you the option to add them to the books to create the complete “HSM Total Training Package!

Thanks again for all your great support and your inspiring words over the past decade — as always I deeply appreciate all of it!

P.S.  If you decide to order from Amazon.com please DO take a moment to come back after you’ve read the book and leave an honest review for me.  I need reviews!

Digging around on my hard drive the other day I ran across one of my old self-produced audio promotions for my program: “Dealing With Your Fear of Rejection”.  This audio is no longer posted on the current sales page, but I listened to it, had a few laughs, and thought that you guys might like to give it a listen as well.  There’s actually some helpful teaching in there, and it’s even got some rockin’ music and a few ’stingers’ that I mixed in myself!  I used to have such fun…

Anyway, I streamlined the current pitch for this DWFOR product because it’s now included in my 4-in-1 Combo Pack as a free bonus item, but it was originally a very popular stand-alone product when I first introduced it a couple of years ago.  It got rather “rave reviews” at that time, as they say

You can listen to it here, or use the link below and download the MP3 for your i-pod:

DOWNLOAD THE MP3 (right-click, “save Link As…”)

This program was intended to laser-focus straight into the key issue that a lot of you guys suffer from: that paralyzing fear of being rejected by women.  And I’m not talking about just a little nervousness or ordinary trepidation, but a fear SO intensely bad that it completely blocks you from making any social or romantic progress in your life whatsoever. I also created a 40 page workbook that goes along with the 2+ hours of audio training which includes dialogs that you can use to get yourself started doing cold walkups right away.  It even presents formulas that you can employ to create your own custom dialogs that would be better suited to your own personality, etc. etc.

Really helpful stuff that I poured a lot of thought and effort into creating as an adjunct to the materials in my books.

You can still buy this program as a single item, BTW (as well as any of the other 3 elements in the Combo Pack), and… it’s a better deal than ever before since I just cut the single-item price on all my products over the weekend from $37 to $29 — a savings of $8 bucks. You can optionally purchase an NLP Accelerator add-on to DWFOR that hypnotically implants the concepts into your sub-conscious memory quickly.  It also helps to boost your confidence and quiet your reactive fears as well by using deep hypnotic suggestions.  Lots of available options, so you can pick and choose what you feel best addresses the particular issues in your game that you need to improve the most.

Check it out if you’re interested — the price box for the single items is down near the bottom of the page where this link should take you.

And I thank you! 

Hi Mike,

What would be a good way to show your interest to a shop sales assistant or to someone else whom you have only just met?   How would you apply this to strangers in the street for instance… just stop them and start a chat?    Seems a bit predatory to me.   For instance, I see pretty girls walking around our building at work as I wander about, but they are in completely unconnected departments to me and so I have no cause to come into contact with them.   And it seems as if I have developed a mental block when it comes to chatting up women while out and about.   There seems to be no valid reason to invade their privacy, even just to make small talk.   It’s not like you’re at a bar where people go to deliberately to drink and chat.   What do you think?

Thanks,
Albert

Hi Albert,

Sometimes the issue with this “pull-tabbing” task (as I describe it in my new book) isn’t so much about knowing exactly what to say to women, as it is coming to grips with how you FEEL about saying it.   As long as you continue to feel that approaching women is creepy and predatory in some way, no matter what the circumstance or surroundings, you will always come across poorly because your discomfort will be evident in your attitude and presentation of yourself.

In order to remain relaxed at this game you have to diminish the stakes involved, which means that you must approach any and all opportunities in the spirit of curiosity rather than as a life-or-death mission powered by some ulterior motive.  You need a re-arranged mindset that completely reverses this outlook for you — especially the part about the ulterior motive, which is why the process now must seem vaguely ‘predatory’ to you.

Flirting with women and asking them out on dates is a GIFT that you bestow upon them — it’s not some lecherous verbal grope that you need to slink around being ashamed of.   You must begin to think of the flirting & meeting process as something that both you and the women will enjoy if done properly and with a touch of class.  You are a High Status Male who has perfectly natural desires and is not afraid to seek avenues to satisfy them. Women love being hit on as long as the mans’ approach is classy, upbeat and seemingly spontaneous.  It puts a spring in their step for the rest of the day knowing that a man felt attracted enough by them to set aside any stuffy social rules-of-conduct and actually take a chance to meet them!   This is essence of romance… think of the plots of soap operas and “chick’ movies.   They live for this stuff… even if they won’t admit it!