The High Status Male

For all you guys out there who are having a difficult time attracting the romantic attention of women, one major reason for this could be due to your lack of a confident male display.  This is that invisible and silent “vibe” that you are always sending out about yourself to females everywhere.  If your own male ‘love beacon’ has been broadcasting a weak and unappealing signal that’s been getting you nowhere lately, then you need to boost up the strength of this Love & Romance energy field and make it shine with the light of unstoppable courage!  This is essentially the master seducer’s secret to success: quietly capturing the interest of a woman away from the men who surround her with his A+ male display, and then gradually monopolizing it until he’s got her completely hooked into him.

Well check this out… here are 5 Instant Confidence Boosters that can immediately help you begin appearing onto the romantic radar screens of women everywhere, ASAP:

1) The #1 mental gear-shift that can almost instantly improve your outlook on most everything and make you appear more confident to everyone involves creating a brand new mental Confidence Frame for yourself… and then plastering it all over your reality!

What am I talking about?  A confidence frame is a highly personalized LENS through which you view the world.  It’s a mental filter — a “coloring” that determines your perception OF (and reaction TO)  what’s going on in your presence.  Your confidence frame is more than just an academic exercise however, it tends to constrain what is or isn’t viewed as possible for you to achieve by setting limits beyond which you’ve convinced yourself that you cannot venture.  Your confidence frame operates by overlaying a veneer of assumptions across whatever it is that you’re witnessing — and it’s those personal limitations that determine the sorts of “safe” interactions that you can engage in with any particular situation or person.

You can think of this as the invisible boundaries defined by your fear.

Here’s how it works: two people standing side by side viewing the same reality will apply entirely different biases (assumptions) to what their seeing, and thus create completely different (even totally OPPOSITE) interpretations of that situation.  For instance, I see a girl standing there and I think that it’s possible for me to walk up to her and get a conversation going, and you think that this isn’t possible for YOU to do.  Neither one of us is actually right or wrong in a strict sense — and our “overlay of assumptions” may have little to do with our actual chances of making this happen anyway, since it cannot take into account the one big ‘unknown’… if she would even be remotely interested in either one of us!

What it DOES do however is position us to either take or withhold a particular sort of action based upon our applied bias to this neutral observation of a girl who’s just ’standing over there’.  This GO / NO-GO decision point (and you live through several of these each day) has the potential to change the trajectory of your life to some major or minor degree — depending upon what you actually decide do… make a move, or simply allow the moment to pass.

The built-up weight of these kinds of collective choices, in retrospect, are what determines where you are in your life right now — which is essentially a patchwork of all these decision points both big and small that you have made along the way.  Sure, some of the reality of your world may’ve been imposed upon you by the actions of others or by circumstances beyond your control, but a lot of it wasn’t.  It is mostly our own choice to be where we are today (even if the main “chooser” was our fear). People with a social anxiety phobia for instance have applied a strong negative bias to most every aspect of their reality, which thus colors their world through a prism of abject fear.  You should strive to stay out of this deadly trap of fear-based decision-making and begin coloring YOUR world through the lens of limitless possibility.

2)  Get all the people who “know” you as being sad, depressed or lonely OUT of your life. I’m serious.  Do whatever it takes (short of anything violent) to diminish the supporting effect they are having on the psychic MONSTERS that you are trying to flush out of your skull!

The people around you can often feel threatened by any sudden change in your attitude or physical state — especially if those changes are life-enabling for you. Such personal changes threaten to have you moving “out in front of them” in terms of where they imagine you to belong in their own personal pecking order (which is usually somewhere beneath you, of course).  I’m talking about work, school, and especially within your own family structure.  You need to begin casting a more critical eye upon these individuals and begin grading them for their usefulness to you.  Don’t assume that these people have your best intentions at heart, they often do not.

In my books I talk extensively about male status and becoming the “high status male” in order to begin attracting the kind of high quality women that you desire into your world.  People who can support you rather than drag you down.  Well, you cannot feel that you are high status in any sense of the word if you are constantly being put down by the people that surround you.  These individuals act as physical manifestations of the poisonous thinking that’s going on inside your head. They re-enforce your circular rotten thinking, and they need to go!

3)  Dump good old “schmootie” or “titso” forever. Or whatever other sort of cutesy, put-downish nickname that others may’ve stamped you with over the years.  Think about some of the more powerful and respected people that you know of.  Do they get these sorts of stupid nicknames hung on them?  Do people dare call them by it to their face… or are they afraid of the consequences?  Or maybe just too respectful? Again, as noted in confidence booster #2, this sort of thing represents all the external inertia present in your world which works against your making any sort of positive, uplifting changes in your life.  This is entirely toxic to the free and full expression of your existence.  Get rid of it! You have 2 choices here: face these people down or flee them.  Either method will work — although the first has the added benefit of improving your self-esteem enormously.

I realize that the number of people we could be talking about or the pervasiveness of their low regard for you may make this seem like an impossible task, as you could be vastly outnumbered by these agents of psychic doom.  Regardless, you must revolt against their endless tyranny and seek your own mental freedom!

4) Taking a major mulligan (a “do over”) on your life can be thought of as your next really big confidence booster… in the sense that you will ultimately walk away from such a fearful experience a VASTLY stronger person.  Especially if you’re in the 20 to 40 age range reading this right now, you will be thanking your lucky stars that you took up the challenge of personal self-change when you did because it only gets tougher as you get older and more set in your ways and attitudes.

I’m talking about seeking out a completely new circle of friends where you can finally get some emotional support.  This may mean having to discover entirely new social circles, changing schools, your place of employment, a spouse… or maybe even the radical decision to pack your bags and leave town.  It all depends on just how much importance you are willing to give this crazy idea that having some RESPECT from others (and also from somewhere deep inside your own head) is worth more than the safety and security of holding onto your current crummy life situation.

It means looking the risk of building a new life for yourself straight in the eye… and refusing to blink!

5)  Know and understand the critical importance of long-term MOTIVATION when mounting any sort of major challenge to your well-established routines and habits — and especially when trying to break out of calcified old thinking ruts.  Your brain has made subconscious assumptions about the limits of possibility for you.  It has spent a lifetime subtly directing your thoughts and behaviors in ways that create a supporting reality… thus “proving” everything it believes about you to be “true”.

These profound if poisonous self-created assumptions can get themselves buried in very deep — and can therefore take a very powerful commitment of motivation to reverse.  Attempting to just casually sweep these rooted-in ideas aside in the service of more positive ones will likely be regarded as a THREAT to the very existence of the subconscious itself… and so will be viciously resisted at every turn.  This is why it can be so difficult to remain motivated to stay at positive personal change until it finally begins to take hold, but this is the task that you must now shoulder.  Otherwise, this is a process that runs almost hypnotically and unconsciously unless you deliberately force it to STOP.

Finally, whether it’s something physical like losing weight or quitting smoking, or something completely psychological like changing your fundamental belief system, you’ll find that Courage and Self-Awareness are your best friends for remaining in the fight long enough to achieve the kind of boost in confidence that you are seeking.  Just stay true to yourself — and stay in the fight no matter what sort of blowback you encounter.  Remember that no one can prevent you from having anything that you truly desire in life.  Except you.

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And speaking of having more confidence…

You know that I just posted my entire Kick Ass Confidence 7 Part Audio Training Series up online as a totally FREE giveaway program, right?  So go listen to the entire 90 minute program for nuthin’… take a look and sign-up on the following page:

http://www.ka-confidence.com

Thanks!
~MP

I got a lot of excellent comments on the Tiger Woods post that I put up a few weeks ago — back when he gave his apology-to-the-world speech.  Since many of them flamed me somewhat, I thought it might be good if I just tried to clear up a couple of points that maybe I didn’t make clearly enough the first time around.  Two main things really:

1) My beef isn’t so much about Tiger’s behavior as it is with society in general.  I feel it’s a shame that HSM “haremers” like Tiger are forced to remain in the closet in order to avoid general scorn.  (Look at that… I have to invent a goofy word to describe him because there isn’t even an accepted term to describe men who wish to live this Hefner-like lifestyle openly… thus demonstrating how socially unaccepted this idea is… EVEN THE LANGUAGE ITSELF REJECTS IT! )

This is especially true if their income or professional advancement is tied in any way to their public image and persona.  For Tiger to have embraced this lifestyle openly would have been economic suicide for him insofar as endorsements were concerned.

So like many men in similar positions (politicians, celebrities, acedemics who wish to be taken seriously, even astronauts) they have to remain in the closet and put on the facade of husband and family man, etc. even though they chaff in this role. If Bill Clinton for instance would have lived like the haremer that he obviously desired to be, could he have been elected President?  Not a chance. (Of course, there’s a bit of chicken-and-egg thing there with the Presidency inflating his HSM status after the fact, but whatever.  You know where his head was at!).

Guys like this are like gay men who get married in order to hide it — forced to wear the patina of respectablity so they can function in society the way they need to.  Being gay is in fact far more acceptable in society today than being a haremer.  It’s the HSM who is discriminated against by society!… It is he who must be boxed in and controlled at all costs.

Make that S.O.B. have only one nagging wife and be miserable… just like the rest of us!

So Tiger had to be a “scumbag” because there is no acceptable avenue for him to just live his romantic life the way he wished to without bringing on an endless tide of bad publicity and criticism.  Better to just get married and then have to juggle a secret harem on the side.  This is the choice he was forced to make because no other option exists for a man like this, a man of exceptional status.

So I say that society forced him to be a hypocrite because no acceptable place exists for men like this to live the way they wish and still be able to exploit their talents profitably.  We are all still way too unevolved on this issue.  No one (except I guess me) champions the OPEN haremer lifestyle as the final reward for the HSM who chooses to embrace it.

You can compete — but if you win you cannot have the ultimate prize that every Man desires.

Grow up society!… What does it matter if rich, famous, athletic, loudmouth, obnoxious HSM’s openly have harems as well?  Can we hate them any more than we already do? I think that after the multi-million-dollar executive TARP bonuses we’re maxed out by now, aren’t we?

2) My sanity was questioned on this idea that men are driven to create the world because of some deep desire to score women.  Not only do I believe this to be absolutely true, my contention is that men have so completely subducted this idea within their own minds that they DON’T EVEN REALIZE THIS IS THE ULTIMATE MOTIVATING FORCE IN THEIR LIVES ANY MORE!

All male behavior ultimately boils down to latent sex drive.  Period.  I developed this point extensively in my books so I’m not going to re-write it all here.  Reject it if you must.  One thing to understand though is that the modern male drive is ultra-subliminal now and buried beneath all manner of high-minded sub-motivators — we don’t even realize that it’s the reason why we do ANYTHING that we do any more!  We think we have these other motivations — but strip them away one-by-one and there it is… seething and throbbing hotly down in the lizard-brain: the need to impress the female!

Most all of our other activities, sophisticated as they may be, completely mask this underlying animalistic drive nowadays.

That’s evolution of the Mind in action: this idea that we’ve transcended our animal drives and supplanted them with higher-minded goals — when in fact the desire to get laid is all there really is.  If we last long enough as humans I believe that we will eventually evolve away all our emotional baggage and become Vulcan-like.  But that could be 1000’s of years in the distant future.  For now, men pretend to have other motives when in fact we do not.  Sorry.

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Of course, all these crazy ideas of mine — especially this notion of the socially-acceptable “haremer” — is not merely hundreds of years, but perhaps dozens of generations ahead of it’s time.  I guess the real problem is that your present is my past! Just another misunderstood intellectual titan who (while scorned in his own time) future generations will surely build statues in honor of.

I just hope they make me look taller.

What kind of advice do you have for guys like me who are about to graduate college and enter the working world, but only just recently began improving their relations towards girls?

Barry

Hi Barry,

Thanks for writing.  Well, I don’t know if you’ve read any of my materials but you ask a very broad question that I address in various different ways in my books and audios, so I wouldn’t know where to begin trying to synopsize all that down into a simple bit of magical advice that I can give you.

One thing that I think you may have overlooked in all this agonizing though is motivation.  And I don’t just mean motivation to chase after women, but a motivation to do all those scary and potentially painful things that you must do (such as face down your fears, actually approach women and not just dream about it, etc.) in order to make serious changes in your life.

There’s no painless way to catch up once you’ve fallen behind the average person in terms of romantic skills — there will be embarrassment and bad emotions to experience and push through as you stumble and bumble your way to eventual competence.  It’s like anything else that you’ve been studying at school.

Here’s the one big thing to remember: the longer that you wait to tackle the chore of learning these skills the more embarrassing and difficult it will be to swallow the inevitable flubs that you will surely make along the way.  That’s because we naturally assume a greater level of romantic and social skill in people as they age, and when this experience is missing it diminishes us greatly.  The awkward romantic mistakes made at 16 may be laughable and expected — but those same mistakes made at 36 are sad and can sometimes even seem tragic.  So DO get to work facing down your fears and get this stuff handled — those fears won’t always self-correct, as a lot of people think they will.

Get yourself motivated to run that gauntlet of fear and fuck-ups!

Finally, you should understand that the “23 year old virgin” thing does actually leave an invisible stink on you that many women can actually sense before you even say anything to them — and this often ruins your chances to make a powerful, high status male impression right off the bat.  In this ” virgin mode” you’re always fighting an uphill battle again a nasty bad vibe that you’re sending out ahead of yourself… making the task of hooking up far more difficult than it should be.

I would therefore make the somewhat radical suggestion to you that you get yourself an escort or a hooker or something and just get laid already. Just be done with this whole virginity deal!  The longer you wait the more you end up over-thinking the whole thing until you’re completely locked-up on the issue. Hiring a courtesan is actually a time-honored way for a boy to become a man, and is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.  Just keep it all on the down low if you want to and no one will ever have to know your business.  (Although maybe some of your frat bro’s could help hook you up?… if it wouldn’t destroy your rep with them to even ask such a thing?)

The important thing is to just get the stink of pussy ON you and get that virgin stench OFF you! Then you will experience a more natural shift in your attitude that will be far more attractive to women and give you a real shot with them.  Don’t get yourself all tangled up worrying about the “right way” to lose your virginity –  women obsess about that sort of shit (some of them, anyway).  Guys just need to get the V label off them and move on.  Hope this gets you thinking and ultimately motivated to begin staring down your fears.

Hi Mike,

I just downloaded your free report “The Three Keys to Seducing Any Woman”.  Overall the Course was excellent, EXCEPT for the very last section entitled “Manage Your Horniness Instead of Letting It Manage You“. I think you made a huge error in this section!!!! I hope you rewrite the section, because it is very bad advice that flies in the face of the advice given by every book/source on seduction that I have ever studied (i.e. Ross Jeffries “Equalizer”, to state just one example, where he recommends adjusting your horniness to a minimum level when you first meet a woman).

In my opinion, the alpha male is always getting laid.  Thus, when he is out with a group of guys he will typically be the least horniest of the group (i.e.. because he is getting laid and knows he can get laid any time he wants).  Hot women pick up on this because hot women don’t want guys who are too needy.  They want a guy who is “validated” (i.e.. already getting laid by a woman).  Do you see what I’m saying?  A guy who gets laid a lot won’t be as horny as a guy who never gets laid…

A horny guy is needy.  That is a MAJOR turn off to a beautiful woman.  I chat with a beautiful woman online and I’m good friends with her (she lives too far away to pursue, so I just practice my material on her).  One of her quotes is that “it is easy to catch the eye of a horny guy”.  I memorized this quote because it spoke volumes of the mind set of a beautiful woman.  She thinks very little of the typical horny guys that she meets every day.

Watch a James Bond movie.  James Bond is NEVER horny or lusts over a woman.   He is cool.  Being horny is un-cool.

Lastly, most of my “single and looking” buddies never get laid by HOT women.  That is because they are horny and thus willing to settle for unattractive/fat women just to get their rocks off.  I WOULD never go for a unattractive/fat woman! In my opinion, taking care of the situation manually is preferable to sleeping with a woman that is not my type.

George

Hi George,

Perhaps I didn’t make it clear enough that there’s a “good” horny and a “bad” horny in the 3 Keys Mini-Course.  You do have a good point about some horny guys being too desperate to get laid.  But it’s not really their horniness that’s turning women off, it’s their emotional neediness (a major LSM red-flag).

There are actually 2 types of “sexually laid back” guys that you need to distinguish between.  The first guy is getting lots of trim.  His success makes him mellow around women because, in addition to being sexually fulfilled, he’s emotionally satisfied by his relationships with them.  This is a very attractive quality to project around other women.  However, he possesses a high motivation to chase after those women (and this is important) because he still needs their real, live, hot little bodies for his sexual fulfillment. You see, his primary motivator is SEX DRIVE, not fear… so his success with women, while making him mellow, still leaves him driven to continue meeting and mating.  He’s actually quite horny most of the time — but his horniness is based on real world interactions with women (rather than deprivation of them) and therefore it is perceived as being cool.

The 2nd guy is also mellow, but that’s because his “mega-wackin’ lifestyle” has pretty much drained away most of his sex drive, plain and simple.  He seems horny — although truthfully he’s not craving sex with real women at all (he’s too scared).  Instead, what he’s really after is emotional satisfaction, because no amount of wackin’ can provide what a real woman does for a man in this regard.  Because his sex drive is always so low, however, his primary core motivator is FEAR — and that acts to block his ability to move on real women.  This doesn’t actually matter to him though — because he only requires some really good fantasy material to fulfill his primary sexual-masturbation needs anyway, not actual flesh and blood women (although he doesn’t always realize this).  He can get this just by staying “close enough” to hot women (at school or at work, hanging out platonically with his buddy’s girlfriends, at strip clubs, etc.) to keep his porno fantasies fueled.

Low sex drive, high fear, and no need for a real woman in his life (at least not to achieve sexual fulfillment, anyway).  Hey, it’s a wonderful nerd’s life! The only thing really missing from the LSM’s universe is the emotional satisfaction provided by a real woman.  And yet this is what he soon finds himself most desperate for… but this missing element becomes a huge turnoff because the typical socially-inept behaviors that usually accompany this kind of lifestyle scream out that women are a scarcity in his life.

If he could only get rid of that damn need… why, the LSM would be in hog heaven.  But he can’t.  And the fact that he can’t is why he’s seen as being needy, and thus unattractive to women — not merely because he’s “horny”.

You don’t have to go completely celibate or anything to make this kind of fundamental change in your success with women, that would be counter-productive in the other direction.  Just trim back your “wackin’ workload” a little and begin to experience a greater surge of your positive male lifeforce.

Hey Mike,

I’m sorry to bother you again — its just that I’m always getting big time nervous when I talk to girls, and I was wondering if there is some way to feel more confident and less nervous?

Danny

Hi Danny,

It’s no bother at all, always glad to chat with you.  Being nervous in social situations is always a big problem for guys like you and me because we’re basically introverts, which means that we’re more involved in our own internal mental world rather than the external world around us.  That also means that we tend to heavily over-think everything before we take action because, well, thinking is what we do best!

Over-thinking is often the source of nervousness because our intellect sits in between our reactive brain, which just wants to respond to our more instinctual urges, and the motor-drive part of our brain that controls the way in which we behave, (and thus the final persona that we project to others).  In other words, we can’t just act on an impulse when we want to (like socially glib people often do) because we’ve got to filter those impulses through our mental gatekeeper and think it to death first!!!

And death it is… death to our motivation to interact with people, or take a chance by reaching out to others.  The intellect obsessively mulls over the hundreds of variables in every situation until it does one of two things: 1) paralyzes the motor-drive mechanism (so we can’t act), or 2) scares the hell out of us! The second is what makes you so nervous.  Fear.  From over-thinking.

The way out of this trap is to do whatever it takes to quiet the over thinking intellect and become re-connected with the deeper instinctual urges that are trying to manage your actions and behavior.  When you see a girl, act… speak, smile whatever…. BEFORE you can think it through.  Use the 3 second rule if you must (say something within 3 seconds or your hair will catch fire…).  The idea is to trick out your higher, overlord mind into fumbling the ball and let your freewheeling instinctual urges have control of the rudder for a change.

This will be hard to do at first, but if you keep working at it you’ll eventually cause the master control system to “hang” a few times, and you will suddenly find yourself acting in a way that won’t seem like it’s even “you” any more… and you’ll finally be making a connection!  Imagine that!

And you’ll be right — it won’t be “you” any more… at least not for that one brief moment.  And that will be a good thing.  It’s called growth and change.  Don’t be afraid to try it.

Dude, how do you stay motivated?   In the past few months I’ve talked to a number of women.   Here’s the results:

1 date, but no number second date.   Whatever, it’s cool
3 married chicks
4 chicks with “serious” boyfriends
3 straight up disses.   I’m sorry dude, I didn’t follow your system and got smoked.
1 alcoholic
1 lesbian
1 asexual chick.   I kid you not, brother.   I only later did I hear about her game from a friend.   She doesn’t want a dude or a lady.   I’ve read that 1% of the population is asexual.   Jeez, that’s fucked up.
2 unreturned e-mails suggesting we meet for a beverage at a coffee house,etc.

I guess I just gotta keep improving and throwing it out there.   There’s no way I’m going back to my old girlfriend.   Sorry ’bout the diatribe, my man

Peace out, player
Ray

Hey Ray,

You sure get the A+ for Effort my friend, no doubt.  Asexuals too!   There was a time when I seemed to specialize in finding those 1%er’s who didn’t want to have sex with me.  They could run but they couldn’t hide! 

Seriously, everything in this world works in streaks… hot & cold.   Whenever I hit a cold streak like you’re in, I pull in my horns and turtle up for awhile.   Work on self-improvement, hit the gym, take up a new hobby, whatever.   Let the thing turn itself around and wait for the fish to come swimming back my way.   You can’t get too obsessed over this meeting and dating shit or it will destroy you. I sometimes figure that when you start trying too hard like this, some kind of desperation starts to leak through your presentation of yourself without your even knowing it, and it fucks up your vibe and reinforces the bum streak.   Just a hunch I have.

Motivation works in streaks too, no sense chasing after it when it dries up (you should try staying motivated writing these big-ass books like I do — sometimes I would rather just get baked and watch The View than do all this fuckin’ thinking.)   It will return when it’s good and ready.   Use the downtime to polish your HSM appeal and let Nature take its sluggish course.

Hi Mike,

I like your pull-tabbing technique a lot, but I was wondering if there isn’t a more blunt approach for those of us who aren’t afraid to put our egos on the chopping block.  Approaching women doesn’t scare me… What scares me is the prospect of ending up like one of those losers who spends his Saturday nights alone jacking off to the latest porno releases.

Also, it seems to me that the average guy has to put in a huge amount of effort to bag a “ten”.  If I can bag a “seven” who gets my juices flowing, will this in any way diminish my Male Status?

Ray

Hi Ray,

You can be aggressive as you like doing the pull-tabbing.  I write these things to be workable for the lowest guy on the food chain who normally can’t pull up an ounce of courage, but you can add to or modify this process as much as you want to suit yourself.   It’s all about getting the correct signal from her, and that’s usually all about eye contact. If you get it, proceed.   If you don’t, then you can either withdraw or force the ball by being a bit more insistent.   It’s your choice — every guy has his own tolerance limits for rejection.

As for the 7 vs. 10 thing, this whole game is basically all about motivation — the higher up the female “looks ladder” you want to go, the more time, effort and $$$ you will have to invest in the total mission.   Guys usually end up with a woman who’s looks are a product of the amount of motivation he had while pursuing her (and keeping her happy). A great looking girl on the arm of an average guy speaks of the time and effort he put into seducing her — not necessarily his own looks.

I think that guys who end up marrying fat chicks or plain janes are really just lazy when it comes to courtship.   They put in the minimum amount of effort necessary to “get through” the process so they can get back to being a slob on the couch.   Now they have a wifey instead of a mommy to cook them their polish sausage!

Your current life situation is always a product of all the various decisions that you made getting there… education, career, social, physical/emotional courage, etc.   Make bigger, bolder, more well-thought out decision… and enjoy a bigger, better, bolder Life for yourself.