Tag: build confidence with women
By Guest Writer
What is the Cause of Attraction?
Attraction between men and women… what lies at it’s heart? As one of the great mysteries of all Time, it’s a tough nut to crack. Since the beginning of our species, we’ve asked ourselves – what exactly makes a woman attracted to a man?
Some will say it’s looks alone. Some will say personality. What about buzzwords like confident and genuine? Where does wealth and power play into all of this?
The truth of the matter is when women are attracted to a man, many times they can’t even pinpoint themselves what they were attracted to. Have you ever heard a woman say, “There was just something about him”? It’s obvious that attraction is complicated. Let’s break it down.
Undoubtedly, looks play an integral role in initial attraction. When you meet someone for the first time, the only thing you have to judge them by is their looks. Clearly, that’s the case for both men and women.You can’t do much to change your facial features, but there’s a lot you can do.
By Guest Writer
Why Women Put Guys in the Friend Zone
“I talk to plenty of girls but they all think I am just a friend…”
This is the frustration of a 17 year-old male who recently reached out to me for help. Truth is, we’ve all been put in the friendzone, and once we’ve been banished to this dreaded place, we stay there. Permanently. We think of ingenuous tactics to win her over… we count down the days ’til we confess our undying love. But deep in our minds, we know that this has no effect. She simply thinks of you as just a “friend”. She would be terribly uncomfortable if you made a move on her.
This problem is awfully commonplace. If I got a dollar every time someone said they were in the friendzone, I’d be a millionaire. And obviously, getting out is an uphill (and sometimes impossible) battle.
But for the sake of this post, let’s look at the reasons why she put you in the friendzone to begin with.
I once said that ‘chemistry’ was the most hated word in the world of dating and hooking up, at least as far as men are concerned.
I apologize… how could I have forgotten that most scurrilous of all slanderers – the nice guy. The nice guy. If you’ve ever had the unfortunate experience of having the label ‘nice guy’ hung on you by some chick that you’re hot for, forget it… you’ve just been deposited straight into the dumpster.
The nice guy may be all things wonderful to all women, except for the minor fact that he’s sexually invisible to her! Most women can no more contemplate having sex with a guy she thinks of as “nice” than she could her own biological brother. This label represents the graveyard of broken dreams, and you need to keep it off yourself at all costs.
Still, listen to any one of these gab shows that women participate in, and whenever they are asked to describe what they’re looking for in terms of an ideal mate, they all talk about this mythical “nice guy” who has yet to appear in their lives and sweep them away. However, as a man, if you actually get tagged as a nice guy you’re romantically dead. So what is going on here?
You’re hanging out with your friends at the club, chatting around, laughing, not really caring about anything in particular. Then you slide over to the dance floor and start scanning the room a bit, and then there she is… dancing enticingly with her girlfriends. You make eye contact for an instant and think (hope!) for a moment that there could be a connection. She seem’s really amazing, and you suddenly want to know who she is…
Then the song ends and she turns to walk straight back in your direction. In a moment the crowd will have you both nearly pressed together. You try to open your mouth and say something cool, but a gripping fear keeps your voice choked off. You can’t think of anything “amazingly clever” to say that you think would rock her world (mistakenly believing that nothing less will do, thus placing way too much unnecessary pressure on yourself…), and so she just keeps on sliding by… and in moments she’s spun away and gone. Gone like a sexy phantom that never was. You had your chance and you blew it.
Nowadays, women are beginning to expect more creativity from men regarding their skills at dating…
There’s no doubt that those men who can deliver the psychological goods possess a definitive edge nowadays. One serious dating landmine that I think you may want to avoid is pressing forward straight into a heavily romantic date too soon, especially as a FIRST date.
Romantic dates staged too soon in the “feeling out” process can quickly get out of control and devolve into ugly pissing contests just as easily as they can a roll in the sack… and often due to some minor issue that should’ve never come up in the first place if the two of you weren’t so intent on interrogating and testing one another.
That’s because these pre-first-sex dates can be too heavy on the talking and too light on the connecting. Too much self-revelation right out of the gate cancels out most of the fantasy elements that likely got her interested in you in the FIRST place — so don’t be too anxious to shed your cloak of mystery and get things grounded in reality right away. People do this because they’ve been burned before and don’t trust anyone, and so they want to strip away all pretenses ASAP and find out what they’re dealing with (another loser?… another crazy bitch?…) before they invest too much time and hope into another person who turns out to be not what they originally seemed.
I found this vid poking around on YT and thought you might grab a few insights from it. I summarized most of Jenna’s core points below. I agree with the first four items as being noble characteristics to strive for in any sort of relationship — the rest I think are more personal gripes based on her own bad experiences with guys, but she does make a few good points nonetheless. See what you think.
by Jenna Anne
Crib Notes Summary:
Demonstrate real confidence in yourself, NOT arrogance (a.k.a. fake confidence)…
Don’t take yourself too seriously, be light-hearted and easy-going…
Don’t make “throw away promises” that you don’t intend to keep just to get some immediate result from her (sex, shut the hell up, etc.). Follow through with all your promises, or don’t make them in the first place…
Do those little “under the radar” things that tickle her by making her seem like she’s your girl…
Tease her lightly and always in good humor…
Here at the High Status Male, we like to kick around ideas that we hope can make us more attractive to women.
Women are of course the great and universal Mystery… Their frivolous behaviors have vexed men throughout the Ages – driving them to commit acts of war, suicide and even murder.
And that was when they weren’t otherwise making us insanely horny, (or just plain insane!)
Ten Signs She’s Interested
Here’s a really solid vid I found from a cute girl who calls herself “Hot Alpha Female”. She has some excellent advice about sharpening your social recognition skills so that you can “read” a girl that you’re working for signs of return interest. This sounds like it should be obvious but there are a lot of things to watch for, and I summarized a lot of it in the training highlights below to give you a nice little cheat sheet,
Clubs can be hard on the ego, they are not really the “normal world” where regular social techniques are all that effective…
And that’s because everybody has their eyes on the top 10% of hot bodies (both men and women) and everyone else looks diminished and low quality in their shadow. This makes it damn hard to get a “hearing” from women, so it’s a tough environment that requires a thick skin for rejection. That’s because girls who would otherwise pick up a flirt and play around for awhile with any guy like yourself will reject you pretty quickly instead, especially if it’s obvious to them that you don’t have a lot of “club mojo” or aren’t a regular player in that environment.
For instance, if you happen to have the male disease of shortness like I do, you will seem that much shorter and perhaps even comical standing next to the towering, muscular Sven or his rap star look-alike buddy at the nightclub. Girls who would otherwise pick up a flirt in a grocery store isle will reject you in a heartbeat simply for failing to make that top 20% cut. The nightclub environment requires a thick skin for casual rejection if you happen to strike an average pose, to say the least.
There is no worse feeling than failing to pick up on a surprise flirting opportunity, thus blowing an absolutely perfect chance to meet a hot girl!
You’re at the corner Gas-N-Go doing some mindless chore when suddenly you find yourself face-to-face with a little cutie who’s gazing back at you with that glassy, wide-eyed look that all us guys with one track minds love to see. You smile and make some ridiculous remark about something totally pointless, but she lights up anyway and gives you a rockin’ return smile. You maybe even get a flash of that doe-eyed, “take me” look. Pre-occupied with the weighty decision of Cheesy Poofs vs. Raw Onion Crunchies however, you have no time to humor her along any further.
So after this brief but enlightening exchange of pleasantries you turn away and ignore her. You then spot the girl a few minutes later while up at the counter checking out, but now she won’t even look at you – or she gives you that quick “too bad” look and vanishes into the parking lot. A few minutes later while driving back home you think to yourself… “Geez, was that chick flirting with me or what?…”