Self-Confidence Tips to Help You Be More Attractive to Women
by Mike Pilinski on Jul.14, 2010, under General Thoughts
Nothing creates a more attention-grabbing romantic signal that most women will immediately take notice of than the magnificent display of Confidence in men. Whether it’s actually while in the act of “hitting” on her itself, or merely doing something powerfully in her presence, confidence always makes a stunning impact on women!
A dynamic display of self-confidence can have a near magical ability to influence others and get them to RESPECT you as well — and it’s especially important for women to see men as being confident because it plays into their subconscious grading system via which they sort out the (attractive) high status males from their (less desirable) low status counterparts.
Here’s an important fact that you may not be aware of: men gain most of their natural confidence not so much by interacting with women, but by competing against one another. So your seeming LACK of it will be read by a lot of these women as a measure of your submission to these other men… professionally, financially, physically, etc. You have apparently been made into one of their bitches and now it shows through in your shyness and lack of self-confidence!
This may not be entirely fair, but you need to understand little IS fair in the game of romance and seduction — and so it’s something that you need to factor in when it comes to getting yourself seen as being out there “on the playing field”… an important appearance that you should always try to maintain.
So in light of all this, here are 7 important confidence tips that can really help you pump-up a weak and paltry male display:
1) Realize that most people are probably just as big a bundle of doubts and insecurities as you are, probably even more so. And especially women… and DOUBLE especially if she’s a 9 or 10! This is the ‘hidden insecurity’ phenomenon that the pick up artist’s technique known as “neg hitting” attempts to exploit, (although I myself am not a practitioner of this particular fine art, charming little sweetheart that I am)…
Regardless, understand that we are ALL fighting with these same challenges and demons… merely to different degrees. So keep soldiering on — you are not alone in your struggles!
2) People are NOT mind readers… which means that they cannot peer into your soul and know your deepest fears at a mere glance. So if you appear to be confident around them, then who are they NOT to believe you? “Hey, this guy seems pretty confident in himself for some reason, so I guess I’ll go along with it…” This gives us the advantage of being able to “fake it until we make it” and pad our male display with some early bluffing until our personal change becomes more genuine and deeply integrated into our core personality.
Look, you’re probably already practicing exactly the opposite process right now when you consistently keep talking the wrong sort of internal self-talk to yourself. You are essentially hypnotizing yourself into acting in ways that support a poor and unattractive self-image. So if you want a better self-image, then learn to fill your head with better thoughts about yourself and your value as a person than you do now. Inner game is essentially 99% of the “secret” to coming off like the confident alpha male around women!
3) Try to always remain aware of your body language and the kinds of “plus or minus” subliminal signals about yourself that you could be broadcasting to women — they have an extremely sensitive radar for this sort of thing, and especially when it comes to men. I’m talking about things like shoulders back, head up, solid eye contact, being at ease about casually being the first to touch someone non-offensively (an assumed HSM “privilege”).
Hey, don’t be afraid to employ a few “cheap trick” confidence tips like this next one to get some early points on the board for yourself: For instance, if you’re still too shy to meet someone’s eye directly, then stare at their nose. Seriously, it’s an old salesman’s trick… people cannot tell the different between someone staring at the bridge of their nose and someone who’s looking them straight in the eye. Try it today and see for yourself. (And also take note the more positive reaction that you are pulling from people as well… The power of confidence!)
4) If you see yourself as being confident in your own mind, then you will give off a confident “vibe” about yourself without even being aware of it. This has to do with the inability of the human mind to distinguish between common everyday reality and a richly-imagined fantasy. Your imagination is the gateway to achieving feelings of deep self-worth, so learn how to use it to “fool” your subconscious mind into seeing yourself in a stronger frame. What you are looking to do is create an emotion more overwhelming than your fear. This will allow you to begin seeing the people around you differently, while having them view YOU differently as well.
It’s from this shift in subliminal vibes that new social opportunities will soon begin to appear all around you — and your shiny new cloak of unstoppable confidence will be the power that drives it forward!
5) Never worry about having to “back up” your confidence — almost no one ever has to do this. People see you acting confidently and that’s just the way it is, they simply accept it. Rarely will anyone challenge you to “prove” it (prove what?). It’s only those guys who really insist on pressing what a tough guy they are that eventually end up in fights. This isn’t confidence, it’s bravado. Like having a fat ‘tell’ in poker.
Look, there’s no shame in trying to change whatever poor thinking it is that’s currently holding you back from participating fully in the game of love and romance, so don’t worry about any of this high-minded BS. These are just mental red herrings designed to keep you distracted from making serious personal change in your life. No one can know what you are doing in the privacy of your own mind, and it’s none of their business anyway – so feel free to imagine your way straight into a better life!
6) Get good at something that makes you look cool and/or powerful and competent and show it off somehow (guitar hero anyone?… just kidding 
. Seriously. Why not strive to become skilled at some type of activity, trade, sport or even a cool hobby like rock climbing to help yourself attract women? Start with some modest demonstration of your prowess and just keep playing it up. Soon you’ll begin to gather a following of closer friends and maybe even a few fans as well. (Just don’t “pied-piper” them all into the jungle one day and have them sample your specially formulated kool-aid…!)
7) Surrender the Self-Hatred and let your spirit fly! Give up once and for all on the misguided belief that your station in life is somehow genetically or culturally imposed upon you, and that you are permanently stuck right where you are. That’s Middle Age-going-nowhere sort of thinking. What it really is, is self-hatred keeping you locked in its “hopeless and helpless victim” trap. It performs this little feat by making any other alternative life-path seem impossible for you to achieve, which is utter nonsense of course.
Take a chance to prove this to yourself today by challenging your fear in some significant way. Get mad at your fear, take it on! Don’t let these powerful ideas that I’m giving you just go in one ear and out the other… use them!
I think that confidence, to finally describe it, is nothing more than an overriding assumption that things will always go your way in the end… no matter what. But this won’t happen for you until you get out there and demonstrate to yourself that new and vastly different possibilities really can exist… for YOU. Once you achieve this absolutely critical cognitive breakthrough (called, duh… “belief and motivation”…) you’ll finally be able to take those first few baby steps towards massive personal change…
And at that point, believe it or not, the hardest part of the entire journey will already be behind you.
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And speaking of having more confidence…
I just put my brand new Kick Ass Confidence 7 Part Audio Training Series up online as a totally FREE giveaway program. That’s right, you can now listen to the entire 90 minute program for free. Just sign-up on the following page:
And you’ll get the links for each of the 7 lessons e-mailed to you at 3 day intervals. This gives you time to listen to each one and perform the little homework assignments before the next part arrives. It’s a more disciplined way to learn, prevents overwhelm and REALLY WORKS! Give it a try, and I thank you for your support. And be sure to spread the word to any of your interested friends who could use a little extra shot of self-confidence.
~MP
47 Comments for this entry
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Welcome to...
The High Status Male!
I'm Mike Pilinski and this is my blog. The High Status Male is all about helping men who have been cursed with social or romantic anxiety to overcome their deepest shame-based fears and find love and acceptance.
Most of us are naturally a little nervous when approaching a girl for the first time, but if your fear is so powerful that it's been blocking you from having any sort of social life at all, then you're at the right place. I am the author of two highly acclaimed books on the subject of overcoming shyness, teaching yourself how to remain cool and calm in the face of social and romantic pressure, and generally just dealing with an over-sized fear of being rejected when trying to meet women.
In my books and audio programs, I share the insights, solutions and work-arounds that I've managed to develop over the years to eliminate many of these types of fear-centered problems... problems that shy men have had to deal with, and for too long in desperate, embarrassed silence!
So please feel free to leave your comments and start thought-provoking threads wherever you'd like.
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