The High Status Male

Mike,

I moved in with a chick (roommate) and ended up sending out all the wrong signals.  Not only does she probably not look at me as a man now, I don’t think she even respects me at all.   Here’s what happened… I wasn’t really that attracted to her at first, but I soon realized that she was hot, smart, talented and cool.  The fact that she doesn’t give a shit about me, except sometimes maybe as a friend figure, is driving me nuts!…   It was part of my motivation to go out and get your book.   That motivation has not yet translated into me hooking up yet, unfortunately.   I have lived with her for four months now, and she hasn’t even seen me go out on a real date or have any girls over, so the loser tag is all over me.

I am working on my weight since that will help my confidence and hopefully at some point I can get a clear signal to start the process you talk about in your book.  I can’t do anything about my short penis size however, and that remains something that just keeps running through my head when I start thinking that things might get sexual… which fucks me up and makes me even more awkward.

So now I have the misfortune of liking the girl I live with and having to listen when she is banging some other guy… who by the way seduced her very much like you say to in your book!

Any thoughts that you could share with me would be appreciated.  I wish I read your books many years ago because my life has sucked in this regard and I knew nothing of your concepts.  I may even buy some copies and send them to a few friends for Xmas.   Guys don’t talk about this shit, but they should.   Anyway, thanks for the help.

Ray

Hi Ray,

Yeah, the code of male silence keeps us all in the dark.   Hate to say it but this pretty much sounds like a dead-end deal with this girl that you’re rooming with — once you lose the respect of a woman as a man, and they file you away in some part of their brain reserved for guys who they’ll never date or mate with, it’s pretty much over.   This game of seduction is made or broken within the first few minutes of contact — it’s all about making an enticing first impression and then keeping a steady pressure of romantic escalation on. You’ve got to know what you want, and then go for it shamelessly.   That’s where you sound like you might’ve gone wrong.   Try to cultivate an HSM vibe like I talk about in the book and broadcast it around cute girls all the time – and then keep watching for any interested return signals.   Those are always your best chances and how you can play this game without destroying your ego.

This “loser pattern” you complain about will just happen over and over again until you learn to project a better, less needy attitude around women that doesn’t turn them off… or whatever it is specifically that you’re doing that accomplishes this feat.

You sound like you also have some of that body dimorphic stuff going on, which is a situation where you hold a distorted unconscious mental view of how you must appear physically to others.   Lots of guys get themselves fixated on irrelevant stuff like penis size.   Look, dick size is always a crapshoot for girls… no woman knows what any guy’s packing until it’s too late and she’s already agreed to get naked with him!   This is really a non-issue, at least as far as nailing any chick for the first time, and it needs to just be ignored.   And being a physically big guy is not necessarily a factor either — it’s how you carry the weight that counts.

If you feel that you’re not in shape and it bothers you then join a club and get busy working out.   Lose the weight and harden up, AND get some testosterone pumping in your veins… it will force your attitude to change just by the improved way that you’ll carry yourself and perk up your more animal instincts around women.   Too much flab increases your estrogen levels and robs you of your sex drive — this is why fat guys are often mocked as big pussies… it’s the way they act more so than how they look.

The only way to change these mental things that ruin us is to know and understand what you’re doing (read the book, you already sound like you know a lot) and then refuse to engage in the same self-destructive choices and patterns that mess you up each time.   Wherever you’re at in your life right now is the result of all the decisions that you made up until this point in time, that’s all.   Make different decisions about how to think about yourself and act around women, and you’ll end up in a different (better?) place.   That’s really the only “trick” there is to life.