The High Status Male

Mike,

First let me say I am not writing this time to bitch about any problems that women have given me, but rather my question this time pertains to a potential problem that I could run into, which I seriously want to avoid.

I met this girl online who I’ve gone out with about six times now (three times in the past week) and had sex with on the fourth date last Saturday (with a little help from some HSM techniques, he-he).   I feel that the two of us have really good chemistry, and of all the girls I’ve gone out with I click the best with her.   Problem is appearance-wise… she looks good but has something of a gut that’s rather noticeable.   Is there any known way to address that without gettin’ my head takin off?   This isn’t a huge issue with me or anything, but I still wanted your thoughts on it before I attempted to bring it up with her.

My second question is about the nature of guys.   Why is it cool for us to go on endlessly about how great a girl’s ass is or how big her boobs are, but I never hear anything about how great it is to be with her as a person, or anything else that’s meaningful about having a relationship?   Look, I’m straight as all hell, but I never hear any of my buddies talk about women this way and I just think it’s fricken’ ridiculous.

Your very pleased student,
Dave

Alright Dave,

Good to hear from you again.

1 ) The only way you can possibly pull off a weight loss deal without getting beheaded is to go into an exercise program yourself AND ASK HER TO JOIN YOU.   Get a couple of health club memberships for the two of you.   Maybe you can find a 2 for 1 special or something in your area.   You in effect are saying: “let’s get healthy and in shape together”, instead of making a judgment of her and saying “you need to shape up”, which she would naturally take as insulting. This way you concede that you too could use some work — plus it’s a cool thing the two of you can share, it improves your sex drive, etc.   Sell it like that.

2 ) The reason for the apparent embargo on male sensitivity about this subject ties directly into why I can sell tons of books about it — the “macho” code of men makes it embarrassing and uncomfortable for us to discuss any of our real feelings or emotions with each other.   Notice how even YOU had to qualify the question to me by first stating that you were “straight” so that I wouldn’t get the wrong idea about you for even asking it!   Men don’t talk about anything substantial when they get together.   It’s all surface shit like sports and work or just good natured ragging on each other.

Because none of us shares anything about how we deal with women or provides any personal advice or help or sympathy to his male friends, we all grow up in an information vacuum concerning this subject. We’re just supposed to “know” all about dealing with women somehow — magically — as if it were an instinct or something.   Dare to tell your buddies about your personal problems with some girl and they’ll just rag you out because it’s an embarrassing display of weakness for men to show emotion and self-doubt in front of each other.   The bubble stays sealed tight.

Look at women… they constantly give each other advice — talk about their men, share problems, and slowly teach each other how to deal with them.   That’s why they’re so highly advanced in the romance field compared to us, and regard most of us guys as dumb-ass retards who couldn’t find their ass with both hands in a locked closet (but we DO know where are dicks are .   It’s also why, when you fuck up and make clumsy self-destructive moves, they have no sympathy at all and will make trying to court them a living hell for you. My book fills a big gap in most guy’s knowledge created by this sad situation by giving advice through a neutral source which they aren’t ashamed to access.

Unfortunately, with the exception of perhaps a very close friend (and you usually only get ONE of these per lifetime), your relationship with your more casual male buds will remain like this until you’re all in your graves.