The High Status Male

What sorts of questions are good ways to introduce rapport and romance?   I’ve asked girls out on coffee dates, but once I go out on the date I can’t really seem to build any emotional connection.   First, it’s hard to find a good opportunity to touch her, especially if we are seated across from each other at a table at a coffee shop.   Should I try to touch her before we sit down, or should I be taking my dates someplace else, or what?   Second, I have a hard time steering conversations toward subjects that could build an intimate connection.   Should the first kiss come during a lull in the conversation, at the end of the night, or what?   Do you really think I’ll know when the moment for a first kiss arrives?

Thank you for any advice you might have, your book is much better than the others on the net!

Gary

Hi Gary,

What you want to do is get her talking about things that she can feel an emotional connection to… past events that are significant to her, hopes & dreams, happy recollections — instead of just topical events like “did you see the latest movie”, or whatever.   And then you must do the same in response. As an example, suppose the topic meanders around to something about the good times you both used to have growing up.   Ask her what it felt like when she got her first hit in the girls softball league, or who showed her how to fly a kite for the first time… her dad maybe?   Share old memories like this together and try to evoke warm feelings — it’s the intimacy of the emotions that will get the bonding process started, which will get her thinking about you when she’s all alone as a potential lover and not merely friend material.

You can always find a moment to touch her — even just touching the small of her back as you’re leading her through a door or helping her on with her coat can be enough.   Make sure to keep good eye contact while doing it so that she picks up on the underlying non-verbal statement you’re making (it’s the deep look that communicates your desires).   Another great move is to fondle a necklace charm she’s wearing and compliment her on it, or ask her what significance it has to her, or what it means if the charm is some odd symbol or something.   This gets you standing face-to-face with her and invading her personal space just a little — solid eye contact here can tell the whole story without a word.

You’ll always know when that first kiss moment is at hand… the two of you are close and she’s staring into your eyes, waiting for it.   Her eyes may even close slightly and she may tilt her head back ever so delicately in anticipation.   Do it at the climax of any close moment that the two of you share, not necessarily at the end of the evening.   That tends to put expectancy pressure on and ruins it.   The spontaneity is what excites her and gets those deeply hidden urges in her stirred to life.

Romantic talk differs from normal on-the-surface bullshit talk because it always attempts to draw up deeper feelings that hold some positive fondness for the both of you sort of as it’s “hidden” motive.   You then escalate upwards along from the first kiss > heavy kissing/petting > and eventually sex.