By Guest Writer
What is the Cause of Attraction?
Attraction between men and women… what lies at it’s heart? As one of the great mysteries of all Time, it’s a tough nut to crack. Since the beginning of our species, we’ve asked ourselves – what exactly makes a woman attracted to a man?
Some will say it’s looks alone. Some will say personality. What about buzzwords like confident and genuine? Where does wealth and power play into all of this?
The truth of the matter is when women are attracted to a man, many times they can’t even pinpoint themselves what they were attracted to. Have you ever heard a woman say, “There was just something about him”? It’s obvious that attraction is complicated. Let’s break it down.
Undoubtedly, looks play an integral role in initial attraction. When you meet someone for the first time, the only thing you have to judge them by is their looks. Clearly, that’s the case for both men and women.You can’t do much to change your facial features, but there’s a lot you can do.
By Guest Writer
Why Women Put Guys in the Friend Zone
“I talk to plenty of girls but they all think I am just a friend…”
This is the frustration of a 17 year-old male who recently reached out to me for help. Truth is, we’ve all been put in the friendzone, and once we’ve been banished to this dreaded place, we stay there. Permanently. We think of ingenuous tactics to win her over… we count down the days ’til we confess our undying love. But deep in our minds, we know that this has no effect. She simply thinks of you as just a “friend”. She would be terribly uncomfortable if you made a move on her.
This problem is awfully commonplace. If I got a dollar every time someone said they were in the friendzone, I’d be a millionaire. And obviously, getting out is an uphill (and sometimes impossible) battle.
But for the sake of this post, let’s look at the reasons why she put you in the friendzone to begin with.
~ Guest Article by Frank Kermit ~
After all, a broken heart hurts, you could catch a sexually transmitted disease… You could end up ruining your life if you choose the wrong person… your financial situation could be massive destroyed through a nasty divorce. So why even try?
Well, I will give you three reasons:
1. Dating and relationships teach you about yourself. People have lots of theory about what they want in a relationship. Unfortunately a lot of that theory is just that: theory. It is important to get as much relationship experience as you can so that you will learn about what you really can and cannot handle emotionally. This will give you the self-knowledge you will need to make a long-term relationship succeed when you get there.
I once said that ‘chemistry’ was the most hated word in the world of dating and hooking up, at least as far as men are concerned.
I apologize… how could I have forgotten that most scurrilous of all slanderers – the nice guy. The nice guy. If you’ve ever had the unfortunate experience of having the label ‘nice guy’ hung on you by some chick that you’re hot for, forget it… you’ve just been deposited straight into the dumpster.
The nice guy may be all things wonderful to all women, except for the minor fact that he’s sexually invisible to her! Most women can no more contemplate having sex with a guy she thinks of as “nice” than she could her own biological brother. This label represents the graveyard of broken dreams, and you need to keep it off yourself at all costs.
Still, listen to any one of these gab shows that women participate in, and whenever they are asked to describe what they’re looking for in terms of an ideal mate, they all talk about this mythical “nice guy” who has yet to appear in their lives and sweep them away. However, as a man, if you actually get tagged as a nice guy you’re romantically dead. So what is going on here?
You’re hanging out with your friends at the club, chatting around, laughing, not really caring about anything in particular. Then you slide over to the dance floor and start scanning the room a bit, and then there she is… dancing enticingly with her girlfriends. You make eye contact for an instant and think (hope!) for a moment that there could be a connection. She seem’s really amazing, and you suddenly want to know who she is…
Then the song ends and she turns to walk straight back in your direction. In a moment the crowd will have you both nearly pressed together. You try to open your mouth and say something cool, but a gripping fear keeps your voice choked off. You can’t think of anything “amazingly clever” to say that you think would rock her world (mistakenly believing that nothing less will do, thus placing way too much unnecessary pressure on yourself…), and so she just keeps on sliding by… and in moments she’s spun away and gone. Gone like a sexy phantom that never was. You had your chance and you blew it.
I suppose it HAD to happen someday: with all the major advances in psychology and behavioral science in the past decade, I knew that a REAL doctor was going to come along one day and figure out how to seduce a woman with methods that would be precise, scientific and tested.
And now it’s happened.
Psychologist Dr. David Tan has become a minor celebrity in Asia, where he was actually pushed out of a prominent teaching position at a top university for conducting social-sexual research that was deemed too controversial. You see, Dr. Tan’s research into the question of “what makes a woman want to sleep with a man?…” happened to offend too many of his stuffy academic peers, and they waged a successful protest for his removal.
But WE love this guy don’t we?… a guy who aims to answer those truly great life questions such as, “How do I get that hot bitch over there interested in boffing me?…” — questions that are genuinely important for the enrichment of our lives.
Here’s a post I ran across by Genevieve Mullins that I thought made some good points about the sorts of things that turn women on. I feel it’s always good to get a woman’s perspective when it comes to seduction and dating tips, especially a cute one like her.
This is, after all, about getting inside their heads, right? Here’s a few interesting quotes that I pulled:
On the power of whispering:
“Whether it’s done in bed or while we’re out in public, a quiet whisper or breathing a little too close to the inside of my ear turns me on almost no matter who I’m speaking to – it’s quite disturbing, actually…”
About holding sway in your relationship with her:
“Don’t let me boss you around too much. I still like to be the boss in every other facet of my life, but not so much in a relationship. It’s the guy who I can’t exactly conquer who holds on to my line of interest and attention…”
Nowadays, women are beginning to expect more creativity from men regarding their skills at dating…
There’s no doubt that those men who can deliver the psychological goods possess a definitive edge nowadays. One serious dating landmine that I think you may want to avoid is pressing forward straight into a heavily romantic date too soon, especially as a FIRST date.
Romantic dates staged too soon in the “feeling out” process can quickly get out of control and devolve into ugly pissing contests just as easily as they can a roll in the sack… and often due to some minor issue that should’ve never come up in the first place if the two of you weren’t so intent on interrogating and testing one another.
That’s because these pre-first-sex dates can be too heavy on the talking and too light on the connecting. Too much self-revelation right out of the gate cancels out most of the fantasy elements that likely got her interested in you in the FIRST place — so don’t be too anxious to shed your cloak of mystery and get things grounded in reality right away. People do this because they’ve been burned before and don’t trust anyone, and so they want to strip away all pretenses ASAP and find out what they’re dealing with (another loser?… another crazy bitch?…) before they invest too much time and hope into another person who turns out to be not what they originally seemed.
Can ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ help you Meet Women?
Among all the zillions of books on Amazon.com, what do you think is the top selling category? Sports? Cookbooks? Fiction by established writers like Stephen King or James Patterson? I was hoping at one time that it would be books about picking up girls but it turns out that I was completely wrong…
The answer: it’s a class of books known as Literotica (aka, erotic fiction). But here’s the thing, it’s mostly women who are buying this stuff. According to the rather amazing sales data, there are about as many women buying these sex-packed stories as there are men subscribing to porno websites!
That’s right, every year hundreds of millions of women devour truckloads of literotica – I’ve heard estimates that the highly popular ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ trilogy alone is responsible for several thousand kindle downloads, a DAY!
What’s surprising about all this is that Literotica itself is nothing new and has basically been around since the 60’s. It’s the sort of titillating crap they used to publish in “Penthouse Letters” or “Variations”. You know, those little mini-magazines full of sexy short stories that were supposedly re-printed submissions mailed in from horny readers all around the world? I’m sure the vast majority of them were churned out in assembly-line fashion by bleary-eyed staff writers who were all working from a standardized plot structure.
And lately, this plot structure has become the subject of much interest in the PUA community.
I found this vid poking around on YT and thought you might grab a few insights from it. I summarized most of Jenna’s core points below. I agree with the first four items as being noble characteristics to strive for in any sort of relationship — the rest I think are more personal gripes based on her own bad experiences with guys, but she does make a few good points nonetheless. See what you think.
by Jenna Anne
Crib Notes Summary:
Demonstrate real confidence in yourself, NOT arrogance (a.k.a. fake confidence)…
Don’t take yourself too seriously, be light-hearted and easy-going…
Don’t make “throw away promises” that you don’t intend to keep just to get some immediate result from her (sex, shut the hell up, etc.). Follow through with all your promises, or don’t make them in the first place…
Do those little “under the radar” things that tickle her by making her seem like she’s your girl…
Tease her lightly and always in good humor…